The sentence could be more effective with specific details about the narrator and how the story explores the human condition. A rewrite might be “In Araby, Joyce delves into the psyche of a young boy, revealing the disillusionment of youth through vivid imagery and a poignant quest for meaning.” The original sentence is a bit vague because it doesn’t provide concrete examples of how Joyce explores the narrator’s character or the human condition.
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2 thoughts on “Discussion 4”
Hello Khalil. I like how your answer gets straight to the point. I could not agree more. I feel like the writer could and should have definitely went into more detail on each point that was addressed in their sentence. The sentence, in my opinion was very well put however I feel like it lacks some of the detail that would draw the reader in more. If I knew more about what he or she was saying I might be more interested in reading the story that is being spoken about. Even going into the littlest detail about each point of interest could spark something in the mind of someone and make them say ” Hey, I want to read that” or ” Wow, I could get into this”.
Khalil, thank you for giving a replacement sentence here. Some students in our groups just skipped over the second part of the prompt. That said, I I think parts of your sentence are still a bit abstract. The disillusionment of youth could result from many different causes, couldn’t it? And a “poignant quest for meaning” doesn’t explain much about what he is seeking, does it?