The sentence is too general, leaving out the actual context details, making it ineffective to communicate the author message. The description of the given sentence is ineffective lacking the real opinion of the student giving a profoundless sentence, because of the overwhelming generalization of the sentence.
I will try to provide more details from the story, mentioning the characteristics of the author’s message, would offer more informative insight into the character’s development and the main themes of the human condition shown in the narrative, sharing the story main points , key scenes and moments to really communicate my ideal opinion of the story.
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Josue, your comments about the sentence are well taken, but students were also asked to offer a sentence of their own to substitute for the one given.