I Think the student sentence is very unclear and general, and somewhat lacks specific details because the sentence is not explaining what the author actually wants to say or how the human condition is actually complex in the story.If I had to rewrite this sentence I would write about that how did views of unnamed character changes on love and reality.After first romanticizing Mangan’s sister, his disenchantment reveals more aspects of his personality. As they accompany the protagonist on her trip, readers are forced to confront the complexities of the human condition, including the depth of desire, the bitterness of disappointment, and the process of self-discovery. Through painful moments, such as the protagonist’s revelation at the bazaar, Joyce promotes investigation into the complex facets of human emotions and goals woven within the story of “Araby.”So, i would have written these details so that the reader would know what is actually happening in the story and would get clear view of that.
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2 thoughts on “Harsneh kaur discussion-4”
Hi Harsneh!! I liked your post a lot. Yes, that student’s sentence is very general, and doesn’t let the reader get his/her idea. I like how you analyzed the character in order to rewrite this sentence. I think that this could be a good part that you can introduce later in your essay too. I liked how you gave us a full analysis of the details to explain your point. Also, how you explained the character’s personality according to their behavior, I actually loved that part of your post.
Harsneh, your comments are good, but the prompt also asks students to write a sentence of their own that improves on the one given.