This sentence lacks any personality of the story being talked about in this essay. It is a very general sentence and could be about any story. It also has the word compelling, which I think is an unnecessary addition to the sentence. The sentence doesn’t give the characters’ names or any description of the complexity of the human condition in this story. The sentence also doesn’t give an example or explanation of what the reader is examining about this no named character. Reading this sentence my questions would be; Who is this intricate character? What are we examining? What about the complexity of the human condition? What condition is this?
If I were to rewrite this sentence, I would give details to the characters and provide their name. I would describe the human condition and why that is important. I would also take out compelling from the first part because I think that’s an opinion and that should be left up to the reader. In addition, When referring to the author I would use their last name.
2 thoughts on “Discussion Board #4- Sanaya Kosanovich”
I agree with you Sanaya! Just as you said, this entrance is not giving any details of what happens in the story. If someone reads that sentence they are not going to understand what the person who wrote it wanted to express. I liked the question that you asked about this sentence, I think that I would have the same questions too. I also like how you explained why you would do it if you had to rewrite this sentence, and what you would do to make it work.
Sanaya, your comments about the sentence are excellent, including your suggestion to delete the opinion word “compelling.” But students were also asked to replace the sentence with one of their own.