The sentence is ineffective because its not specific and doesn’t provide any concrete examples or evidence to support the claim about the story’s themes. To improve it, someone could rephrase it to include specific details about the narrator’s experiences and the themes explored in the story. For instance, someone could say, “In James Joyce’s ‘Araby,’ readers are prompted to dive into the complexities of the protagonist’s psyche as he navigates his infatuation with Mangan’s sister and his disillusionment with the reality of adulthood.” Also, mentioning key scenes or moments from the story, such as the narrator’s reflections on his feelings for Mangan’s sister or his disappointment at the bazaar, would offer more informative insight into the character’s development and the main themes of the human condition shown in the narrative.
Daily Archives: February 21, 2024
This sentence in this student’s essay is a bit bland. When stating a thesis in an essay, one must share a small summary behind the story that they are writing their essay on for readers to have a much clearer understanding of what to expect when reading the essay. After the summary of the story is presented, then a valid thesis statement, breaking down how the reader views the author’s ways of presenting things can present the reader with a clear note of what to expect when reading the prompt. By what’s presented here in this thesis, readers would be a bit confused as to what this writer is referring to, as there isn’t any context behind it. If I were to rewrite this thesis, I would state my thesis as “In the story of Araby, Joyce presents how the events of an individual’s life, can create such mythical conceptions in the human mind”.
The sentence from the student’s essay is too vague, by just stating that the story examines the narrator and the complexity of human condition doesn’t give insight as to how that is being done. For starters we know the narrator is anonymous and they don’t tell us how the narrators acts or even displays any signs of his complex actions. I would instead say The story “Araby” illustrates how a crush or longing for someone creates a sense of obsession. In the story the narrator shows cases of obsession and stalking. “I ran to the hall, seized my books and followed her. I kept her brown figure always in my eye and, when we came near the point at which our ways diverged, I quickened my pace and passed her.” – Araby. This quote is significant because it shows the lengths the narrator went to, to be in her presence. Another example would be caring so much that he gave his hopes up going to the Bazaar to give her a gift.
This sentence is too general and is not saying anything concrete about the story itself. If you are not familiar with the story you can not get what this sentence means. This sentence is not giving specific details, or communicating in any way what happened in the plot of the story in a way that someone can make a connection from. It needs to be more specific, so the reader that is not familiar with this story can get the writer’s point of view. Another factor that makes this sentence ineffective is the choice of words, words that are too broad. When I read this sentence I went like “what does this even mean.” I couldn’t understand what this person was talking about, even though I read the story. If I had to rewrite this sentence, I would correct it as: In “Araby” by James Joyce, the tone that the narrator uses is aimed to express a character that is going through a melancholy’s life.
