“When the tender, loving care of the parent of the same sex is not strong enough to build up ever more important positive ties in the naturally jealous oedipal child, and with it set the process of identification working against this jealousy, then the latter dominates the child’s emotional life. Since a narcissistic (step)mother is an unsuitable figure to relate to or identify with, Snow White, if she were a real child, could not help being intensely jealous of her mother and all her advantages and powers. If a child cannot permit himself to feel his jealousy of a parent (this is very threatening to his security), he projects his feelings onto this parent. Then “I am jealous of all the advantages and prerogatives of Mother” turns into the wishful thought: “Mother is jealous of me.” The feeling of inferiority is defensively turned into a feeling of superiority.” (Bettleheim 204)
“In “Snow White,” as in “Little Red Riding Hood,” a male who can be viewed as an unconscious representation of the father appears—the hunter who is ordered to kill Snow White, but instead saves her life. Who else but a father substitute would seem to acquiesce to the stepmother’s dominance and nevertheless, for the child’s sake, dare to go against the queen’s will? ” (Bettleheim 204-205)
I found it interesting how Bettleheim highlights the psychological aspect of how inferiority and superiority affect a child and parent relationship and the outcomes from it. In a child-and-parent relationship, a child looks up to their parent for guidance. Parents are there to help raise their children and teach them lessons that will help them grow into well-rounded individuals. Joyce Carol Oates’s “Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?” is an example of a superiority complex between a mother and daughter that ends the child down a bad path. In “Little Snow White”, the stepmother feels inferior, feeling challenged by Snow White’s beauty. A one-sided competition fueled by narcissism. A child is still developing, incapable of making consistent rational decisions. It’s up to the parent to step and help create a safe environment for a child to grow and be protected. The stepmother in “Little Snow White” already has less of a connection with Snow White since she is not biologically hers and her beauty challenges the stepmother’s position as the fairest. Even being the Queen does not make the stepmother feel enough because she is obsessed with her vanity. Snow White’s protector in this story is the hunter, an older man who married Snow White who is a minor.
In “Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?” Connie’s superiority was teenage rebellion, feeling a need to fit in with her peers and separate herself from her family. Instead of the Mother trying to be there for her child, she distances herself as well, taking everyone but Connie to the family barbecue. Connie’s self-isolation soon became ostracization. Arnold Friend was a distorted fairy tale, having everything she ever dreamed of without her having the critical thinking skills adults have to make informed decisions. Early on life lessons like this are taught to children by their parents. Stranger danger, treating others the way you’d like to be treated, and honesty is the best policy help form better decision-making skills early on. Throughout the story, she needs her mother even if she didn’t feel like she did. When parental figures neglect their children of the proper care and attention necessary for development, they’ll seek it elsewhere. Both Connie and Snow White were failed by their parents and the adult figures around them being victims of predators. Fairytales have meaningful messages that are digestible to children to understand but there can be points where the lines are blurred.
