Topic: Abortion
Intro: (hook, intro to topic, thesis statement)
Although abortion has existed since the early centuries, the same controversy has not changed whether it’s because of religion, culture, or norms The debate continues to be the same whether it should be illegal to have an abortion. The topic of abortion has been brought up in the supreme court where the debate is about the 14th Amendment protecting abortion as a fundamental, right. This means it’s a woman’s choice and right to choose to proceed with the procedure. Abortion is legal in some states and also illegal in some states. It all depends on the state you live in and the stage of the pregnancy. those opposing state abortion should be illegal in all states no matter the stage of the pregnancy. like the 14th amendment that states equal protection, women deserve this right no matter the situation.
Premise 1: states that the main priority of the government should be that all people should have access to basic health care.
Supporting Evidence: the article “Would restricting federally funded family planning clinics from discussing abortion violate the First Amendment?” Stephen Koff states “When a patient seeks information about pregnancy, she deserves timely and accurate information about all options, including abortion. My patients’ needs, not a government mandate, should dictate the counseling they receive .”
Premise 2: not only are they taking women’s right to their bodies but from seeking any help that is provided to them.
Supporting Evidence: The article “Abortion Politics” by Stencel, S. States “the Department of Health, Education and Welfare from ending Medicaid payments for abortions until the law’s constitutionality is decided.”
Premise 3/ Opposing Viewpoint: points out the views on South Dakota’s anti-life and pro-life
Supporting Evidence: In the article “Bans and Exceptions “ by Kenneth Jost, Kathy Koch discusses “A life is a life no matter how it gets there,” Megan Barnett, who became pregnant following a rape and declined emergency contraception or an abortion, told the South Dakota Right to Life’s annual”
Conclusion: (paraphrase your thesis, and explain why this topic matters)
Abortion will continue to be a big controversy. And as we discussed in this essay and it’s a woman’s right and equal right that shouldn’t be questioned Or judged. No medical health should be taken away simply because our opinions aren’t the same.
One thought on “Peer Review”
1.Does the draft include a thesis statement/ conclusion? What is it? Is it clearly stated and arguable?
This draft doesn’t make the thesis statement entirely clear in the introduction, but the hook is there, and it’s a good introduction to the topic of abortion. It is not clearly stated but looking at your premises, I’m seeing you’re for abortion and it is arguable.
2.Does every body paragraph begin with a premise/ topic sentence that supports the thesis?
Yes, she lists her premises! It’s not complete paragraphs, so there isn’t a topic sentence, but she does have her premises which I believe are good ones and can be argued.
3.Does each body paragraph include relevant supporting evidence? Explain.
Yes, each premise includes relevant supporting evidence. For example, premise 2 is that the government is restricting women from seeking any help with abortions, and she follows up with evidence that the Department of Health, Education and Welfare is seeking to end Medicaid payments for abortions until the law’s constitutionally decided.
4.Does the draft include 3 sources, at least two of which are from CQ Researcher or Opposing Viewpoints/ BMCC database?
Yes, she lists three different articles for her premises and her opposing viewpoint.
5.Does the research support the author’s thesis without replacing their voice? For example, if there is a quote, is it explained and analyzed?
No, it is not, it is just stated.
6.Does the author include at least 1 opposing viewpoint, followed by a refutation? Explain.
Yes, she does include one opposing viewpoint, but there is no refutation. This should be included in her final draft.
7.Is it clear who the audience is/ who the draft is addressed to?
I’m thinking this draft is addressed to women since this is a women’s rights issue.
8. Is the draft well-organized?
No, it is simply an outline, but it’s a great start to a final draft!
9. What are the strengths of this draft?
She has her premises, she has her supporting evidence (all three articles needed), and it’s a good topic to argue.
10. Do you have any other comments or suggestions?
I suggest you add a clear thesis statement to your intro, and I suggest you elaborate more on your evidence and your premises. I’m sure you will come up with a fantastic essay on Wednesday!