Your draft should include the following:
- Your working thesis statement/ conclusion
- At least 3 body paragraphs, each with a premise and supporting evidence, including one counterargument with your rebuttal
Submit your draft of the argumentative essay here, as a post (the category is Peer Review).
Review two of your classmates’ essays using the Peer Review Questions by replying to their posts with essay drafts. The goal here is to select essays that haven’t yet been peer-reviewed or that have been peer-reviewed once. If this isn’t possible, you may comment on any essay available.
Please note: if the deadline for the draft submission has passed and there is only 1 essay for you to review, your job is to only review that 1 essay. If there are no essays to review, review your own essay. I will not penalize you for not reviewing work that isn’t there, but you must still complete the assignment to receive credit. Ideally, everyone will receive feedback from 2 classmates, and provide feedback to 2 classmates. Good luck.
50 points: you submitted your essay by the deadline- March 29
50 points: you peer-reviewed 2 available essays by deadline by answering 10 peer review questions for each one- by April 5
25 points extra: any EC option
Peer Review Questions
Select two essays here in Conversation/ Peer Review. Read them and answer the 10 questions below about each draft by replying to the classmate whose draft you are working on. Be sure to explain your answers–replies like “Yes” and “No” and even “Yes, this draft includes a thesis statement” are not helpful–be specific.
1.Does the draft include a thesis statement/ conclusion? What is it? Is it clearly stated and arguable?
2.Does every body paragraph begin with a premise/ topic sentence that supports the thesis?
3.Does each body paragraph include relevant supporting evidence? Explain.
4.Does the draft include 3 sources, at least two of which are from CQ Researcher or Opposing Viewpoints/ BMCC database?
5.Does the research support the author’s thesis without replacing their voice? For example, if there is a quote, is it explained and analyzed?
6.Does the author include at least 1 opposing viewpoint, followed by a refutation? Explain.
7.Is it clear who the audience is/ who the draft is addressed to?
8. Is the draft well-organized?
9. What are the strengths of this draft?
10. Do you have any other comments or suggestions?
2 thoughts on “Peer Review week March 29- April 5”
Topic: Foster care and child welfare crisis (PEER REVIEW)
Studies show that 6% of the entirety of children within the US alone will enter foster care before the age of 18 and a half years old. It’s been said that the government is working to fund agencies that Aid forced to use. Many believe foster parents do it for the money, and some do! The world has been under the belief that placing children who have no home, or live in a bad home, into a foster home means that life will be better for the child. Unfortunately, that’s not the case most times.
There are many reasons children enter the foster care system before age 18.5. Some would include; abandonment, neglect, death of parents, juvenile offenses, abuse, or voluntarily, and teen pregnancy. The parent/child may have a disability that the parent isn’t willing to read the child with or maybe incapable of doing. Teen pregnancy has caused more abandonment and neglect. ” At any time, there are several hundred thousand children within the foster care system in the United States”; “Reasons Children Enter the Foster Care System” by Carrie Craft.
“Foster Care Crisis” by Kenneth Jost, mentions an arise in reported cases of child abuse or neglect.” With State and local agencies unable to adequately supervise forced homes or arrange adoption, many children will spend much of their lives in foster care, often with lasting emotional scars”. These are the foster homes of the parents the government is looking to fund. Many believe that the individuals fostering these children may only have done it for the money. Due to this, many children who are not being taken care of are unnoticed many times.
“Child Welfare Reform” discusses a child; Rilya Wilson was a four year old girl from Florida. Rilya had been missing for a crucial 15 months before a children’s welfare agency noticed. She was in foster care under a woman who had a roommate. Later on, the roommate confessed to “smothering Rilya with a pillow to dispel the child’s demons”. How is this even possible? Agencies are obligated to visit foster homes in order to assure the child is probably being taken care of. For 15 months, they never checked and the mom did not report it while still receiving funds for the deceased child. I am all for the search for foster homes for children in danger! However, agencies have to be held to a higher standard, as well as held accountable for these types of situations. They are and have been doing a horrible job, only discussing the numbers of successful placement for the child but not the unsuccessful experience the child endured and if they made it out alive!
Once a child is adopted their biological parents rights are terminated. According to “Alarming Foster Care Statistics that Cannot be Ignored”, out of the 407,383 children and Foster Care systems, “34% are placed in a relative forcedure family home”. I had this experience, however it was bad. Us children who enter the system are emotionally vulnerable looking to feel loved and wanted again or for the first time. Forced your parents take advantage knowing the child does not want to say anything because they may be placed elsewhere. Agencies have to do better or else, forced to care will continue to be a second stop of trauma a child is forced to endure!
1. Yes, the draft includes a thesis statement. While it is not clearly stated, it can be inferred that the thesis is “the foster care and child welfare system is in crisis”. It is arguable since it is discussing that children are in danger and that agencies need to do better.
2. Yes. Every body paragraph begins with a premise that clearly supports the thesis statement.
3. Yes, each body paragraph includes relevant supporting evidence. For example, the author cites statistics from “Reasons Children Enter the Foster Care System” by Carrie Craft and “Child Welfare Reform” to support the notion that the foster care system is in crisis.
4. Yes. The draft includes three sources, at least two of which are from CQ Researcher or Opposing Viewpoints/ BMCC database.
5. Yes. The research supports the author’s thesis and their voice is not overridden by the sources. There is a quote which is explained and analyzed.
6. Yes, the author includes one opposing viewpoint which is followed by a refutation. The author states that foster parents do it for the money and then refutes by saying that many believe this to be the case but it is not always the case.
7. Yes, it is clear that the audience is anyone interested in the foster care and child welfare system.
8. Yes, the draft is well-organized and easy to follow.
9. The strengths of this draft are: 1) the clear thesis statement and topic sentences; 2) the relevant supporting evidence; and 3) the inclusion of one opposing viewpoint and its refutation.
10. The only suggestion I would make is to include a conclusion as it will make the draft even stronger.