Suicides have increased over the years and society often overlooks one of the main causes leading to suicides which is mental health. As the number of suicides increases, so does the number of teen suicides and with social media becoming more and more influential in our everyday lives, its not hard to see how it may be one of the causes leading to suicide. Kids and teens are most influenced during those young ages and they are constantly exposed to the media which can negatively affect their mental health such as their confidence and how they view themselves. Has social media harmed our mental health more than the benefits it gives?
As social media has become more and more impactful in today’s society, it also allows bullying to also become a bigger issue especially to the younger victims who are too young or naïve to deal with this, causing emotional distress and anxiety. One of the potential negative effects of social media is the comparison trap. Teens may feel pressure to present a perfect image of themselves online and compare themselves to others, leading to feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem. Research from the article “Bullying and Cyberbullying” states “The percentage of public schools reporting that students engaged in online bullying on or off campus at least once a week increased 4.1 percentage points between the 2009–10 and 2015–16 school years”(https://library.cqpress.com/cqresearcher/document.php?id=cqresrre201). This data shows the trend of how cyberbullying has been increasing over the years as well as what one of the causes that may lead to suicide be.
It can negatively affect our mental health due to how it exposes us to what we should believe is right and how it can affect our self esteem and values. Studies have also shown a correlation between excessive social media use and symptoms of depression and anxiety. Spending too much time on social media can be isolating, leading to a lack of real-life social interaction and a decrease in overall well-being. In the article “Youth Mental Health”, the author provides data that “the share of U.S. teens diagnosed with a “major depressive episode” hovered between 8.0 and 8.3 percent for five years before jumping to 9.1 percent in 2012 and steadily climbing to 14.4 percent in 2018, according to a government survey. There was no similar-sized increase in adults over age 26.” (https://library.cqpress.com/cqresearcher/document.php?id=cqresrre2022070100). This data shows how younger ages have been negatively affected by social media whereas older people didnt get affected as easily.
However, it’s important to note that social media is not inherently bad for teens’ mental health. It’s all about finding a healthy balance and using social media in a positive way. Encouraging teens to limit their screen time and engage in other activities, such as exercise, hobbies, and face-to-face interactions with friends and family, can be helpful. In the article “Bullying and Cyberbullying” it is reported that “After a few weeks, people who reduce their use generally report an improvement in mood or reduction in loneliness or symptoms of depression” (https://library.cqpress.com/cqresearcher/document.php?id=cqresrre2022070100). Constant use of social media leads to poor mental health and it is shown that stepping away from it can improve mental health.
Although social media has become more influential, so does the harm that it does. Many overlook how social media has changed them due to the constant use of it and how it affects our mental health. Society often forgets about how easily young people can be influenced and what they could be exposed to. It has brought many good things such as being able to connect with our friends, however it also affects the way we view and value things.
One thought on “Essay Draft”
1.Does the draft include a thesis statement/ conclusion? What is it? Is it clearly stated and arguable?
Yes, the draft includes a thesis statement/conclusion. The conclusion is social media is becoming more and more harmful to our mental health.
2.Does every body paragraph begin with a premise/ topic sentence that supports the thesis?
Each paragraph begins with a topic sentence to support the thesis of the essay, which allows the readers to clearly understand the topic stated in each paragraph.
3.Does each body paragraph include relevant supporting evidence? Explain.
Yes, each thematic paragraph contains relevant supporting evidence. There is evidence on cyberbullying and youth mental health to argue for a correlation between social media and mental health.
4.Does the draft include 3 sources, at least two of which are from CQ Researcher or Opposing Viewpoints/ BMCC database?
The draft includes 3 sources from CQ Researcher:
the article “Bullying and Cyberbullying” (https://library.cqpress.com/cqresearcher/document.php?id=cqresrre201)
the article “Youth Mental Health” (https://library.cqpress.com/cqresearcher/document.php?id=cqresrre2022070100)
the article “Bullying and Cyberbullying” (https://library.cqpress.com/cqresearcher/document.php?id=cqresrre2022070100)
5.Does the research support the author’s thesis without replacing their voice? For example, if there is a quote, is it explained and analyzed?
The author cites evidence that supports his argument, and the author has explained and analyzed the quotes.
6.Does the author include at least 1 opposing viewpoint, followed by a refutation? Explain.
The authors have included an opposing viewpoint. The author mentions that social media is not inherently bad for teens’ mental health.
7.Is it clear who the audience is/ who the draft is addressed to?
The author does not explicitly mention to whom the article is addressed. I think the article can be addressed to everyone.
8. Is the draft well-organized?
Yes, the structure of this article is very well organized and detailed.
9. What are the strengths of this draft?
The strength of this essay is that each body paragraph is organized and contains the topic to be stated in that paragraph, relevant evidence and explanations.
10. Do you have any other comments or suggestions?
I think the paragraph expressing the opposing viewpoint in this article could be more clear and explicit.