Summary
Mental health issues left untreated for too long may cause long term life altering detrimental effects to your quality of life.
While mental health awareness rises, the access to treatment for these issues are not as easy to come by. For some people it is not easy to come by because not everyone has health insurance that includes affordable access to these treatments. Health insurances tend to discriminate against people with severe mental health illnesses. It is because of obstacles like this that prevent people from getting the help they need. The discrimination people suffering from mental health illnesses face in their insurance policies are discouraging in their fight to get better.
Unfortunately, some people don’t find out what is wrong with them until it is too late, and the treatment is no longer as effective as it could have been if it were caught earlier on. Which then begs the question, why don’t we have more preventative measures in place. We typically do not pay attention until it is too late and instead of a recovery story, we get a tragedy. The problem with this is that we don’t work hard towards fixing our problems until they have already come to pass and are staring us in the face without the chance to correct them. For example, for the cases caught at a fragile stage, these people suffering they get help while they are institutionalized but what happens after they leave? Their outpatient care is nowhere near as effective as the treatment they received as a patient which just sets them back all over again. It is imperative to put more preventative measures in place as well as maintaining the after care of patients when they leave our care to ensure their treatment works long term.
Many people argue that if we choose to recognize mental health issues correctly and broadly that we open the door for people to take advantage. There are people that abuse the aid provided to those that are suffering. People create false narratives of their own “illness” preying on the helpful and sympathetic nature of others. Thus, making it difficult for those that are truly suffering to receive care because they are not so easily believed.
If preventative measures aren’t taken for mental health issues before it goes too far, the treatment after the damage is done is not as effective as it could have been.
One thought on “Rachel Harley Peer Review”
1.Does the draft include a thesis statement/ conclusion? What is it? Is it clearly stated and arguable?
the thesis is clearly stated to be that mental health has to be taken seriously before it is too late.
2.Does every body paragraph begin with a premise/ topic sentence that supports the thesis?
Yes, each topic sentence includes a reason as to why this is an issue.
3.Does each body paragraph include relevant supporting evidence? Explain.
No there is no sources used
4.Does the draft include 3 sources, at least two of which are from CQ Researcher or Opposing Viewpoints/ BMCC database?
There arent any sources used
5.Does the research support the author’s thesis without replacing their voice? For example, if there is a quote, is it explained and analyzed?
Theres no research that was used
6.Does the author include at least 1 opposing viewpoint, followed by a refutation? Explain.
Yes, they include an opposing view of what could potentially happen and why it isnt so simple to fix.
7.Is it clear who the audience is/ who the draft is addressed to?
Yes
8. Is the draft well-organized?
Yes it is very well organized, with 2 supporting paragraphs and 1 opposing.
9. What are the strengths of this draft?
It is very organized and used strong points to support their thesis.
10. Do you have any other comments or suggestions?
I would suggest to use sources and quotes to further strengthen their thesis.