As a college student, it is not unusual to constantly feel lost and unsatisfied. Somehow, we always feel like we are running clockwise, running out of time, doing the something wrong, or making decisions we don’t know how to make (Extra help on decision-making: Why We Were Given the Power to Decide | Flourishing Discours (flourishingdiscourse.com)).
I recently have been feeling quite lost myself, and speaking to a friend the other night, I realized I wasn’t going through this alone. Turns out, like in High School Musical, we are all in this together. We are all going through a similar experience of frustration and dissatisfaction, only in our own personalized living experience.
The best advice I can offer for when we are overflowed with anxiety is to use the S-TLC model. Stop, Think, Listen and Communicate. We don’t have to listen and communicate with someone else necessarily, but to at least to have an inner dialogue will make a big difference. Anxiety usually comes in the form of existential questions like, “Who am I? Is this what I really want to do? What do I want? What do I do when I’m done with college? How do I start? How do I become the person I want to be? How do I stop doing the things I don’t like doing? How can I be better? How do I get rid of my negative habits? How can I be happy?” Stop for a minute. Think, let these questions simmer. Listen to yourself, and then find the answer within you.
Stop and breathe. Breathing is an exercise that can change your day, your mood, and your life. Breathing actually means taking a moment to breathe, as many breaths as necessary to calm yourself down and get out of your head. Breathing also reminds us that, indeed, we are alive, and that is a gift, therefore we must be grateful, and a state of gratitude is an abundant mindset.
Another helpful exercise, which can fall into the category of Listening, is Education. But how does education relate to managing anxiety? Personally, when I am overwhelmed with all of these thoughts and questions, and begin to feel incapable and insecure, I ask myself the following: How can I help myself right now? And since I don’t know the answer, I rely on my education. I read self-help articles, books, listen to podcasts, or ask knowledgeable people I trust about the subjects I’m concerned about, like my therapist, a counselor, or someone I trust and admire. Take initiative–if you don’t help yourself, who will? Just being here is a start, a great one.
I remember recently, during an episode of uncertainty and doubt, right when I needed it, I found the perfect advice from a podcast called “Infinitos con Marta Higareda”, (Infinite with Marta Higareda). The episode translates to “Finding Your Purpose in Life with Mandala Conciencia”. Mandala Conciencia are two independent partners and entrepreneurs who have their own brand and blog to teach in regards to spirituality, philosophy, sociology, etc. From this podcast, I was required to ask myself two major questions, “What is my purpose?” and “What is my vocation?”. Apparently, we all have two purposes; an internal purpose and an external purpose. Our internal purpose is our individual vocation. Our external purpose is The Now; living presently. To begin finding your internal purpose, otherwise called your medicine; it is imperative that you find yourself first. Start through introspection, know and understand who you truly are, not whoever society or your past Self have made you to be. Lastly, from this podcast episode, I decided to highlight a quote by Jim Carrie that was mentioned, “You can fail to do something you don’t like, or you can fail to do something you love”. Failing is within the nature of human beings, it is inevitable. So, if you’ll fail anyway, at least once in your life, it might as well be trying to do what you love, going for your dreams; finding your vocation.
It is important that we define the terms used in this article properly to have a better understanding of career and vocation. American journalist, Elizabeth Gilbert, defines four terms that apply to all of us in our everyday lives: Hobby, Job, Career, and Vocation.
A hobby is something that you do purely for pleasure. The stakes are zero, the stakes are nothing, the stakes don’t matter at all. You don’t have to make money from your hobby, you don’t have to get famous from your hobby, nobody has to know anything about your hobby, your hobby just brings you pleasure and makes you feel like you are more than just a cog in the machine.
Here’s what you do have to have, a job. Out of that list, hobby, job, career, and vocation, the only thing that you do actually have to have is a job. You have to pay the bills, we live in a material world. I’ve had so many jobs that I didn’t love, I’ve had so many jobs that I didn’t like, whatever, you go and do it. You give them the thing that you’re giving them and you take the money in return. That’s the exchange, that’s fine. Now, look, if it’s killing you, if it’s toxic, if you’re being abused and manipulated, if it’s terrible… If you can get out of it, if you can get a better job, do it, right? But just recognize that your job doesn’t have to be your whole life, your life can be outside of that.
Here’s another thing you do not have to have, a career. A career is a job that you are passionate about and that you love. Now, a career is something where you are willing to make sacrifices, you’re willing to work extra hours, you’re willing to put your life on the line for this thing, because you believe in a mission of what your career is. If you’re in a career right now that you hate, that’s terrible. You should love your career, or not have one.
Number four, the holiest, most sacred, most amazing, and mystical pursuit of all; vocation. A vocation is a calling, a vocation is a divine invitation, a vocation is the voice of the universe in your ears saying: “I want you to do this thing. I want to use your talents and gifts to make this thing. I want you to participate in the story of creation in this way.” We are living within creation, we are participants within creation. This is your piece of it, that’s your vocation. It comes from the Latin “A calling, ” “To be called.” A vocation is the highest possible pursuit that you can do. Here’s the amazing thing about having a vocation: NOBODY CAN TAKE IT FROM YOU. Nobody can give it to you, and nobody can take it from you. Somebody can take your job away from you, somebody can take your career away from you, but nobody can take your vocation away from you.
Being aware and conscious of the meaning of the activities and focuses of our everyday lives gives us a sense of direction. So, where do we go from now? Wherever you want to go. You can do and be whoever you want to be. You have that power in you. But use the tools we’ve been given to formulate a plan, to create a formula, to coordinate a strategy, to do something to get to where you want to be. Do something, anything; take action, take initiative, take that first step.
To end this perfect cycle, let’s circle back to our fundamental question, Is my career my vocation? To find out, use your inner tools first. Self-analysis: Why did I choose this career? Was I told I had to? If I don’t believe this is my vocation, what can I do to use my spare time to start working on what I love? Introspect. Knowledge: I now know the definition of the main aspects of my life, I also know that letting my anxiety overpower me is not going to get me anywhere, so I breathe and use the STL-C model. Other inner tools to build a path toward success: Initiative, self-love, focus, perseverance, talent, passion. Then, sacrifice and invest in your external tools: I want to be a director, I invest money in a camera; I want to be a teacher, I invest my time in teaching or tutoring; I want to be a writer, I wake up two hours earlier to write; I want to be a doctor, I sacrifice time and money in medical school. Use the tools and resources you’ve been given to build yourself up to be the person you want to be, to the person you already are.
