Once again I let the physical world overpower my intuition.
I am sitting next to three men,
They are talking,
I’m not listening,
I don’t want to listen.
Divine feminine has disadvantages,
And this is one of them.
I wish I was alone.
I wish I was at peace,
I wish I were as divine as I paint myself to be in my head and my dreams.
But it isn’t true, is it?
I am still overpowered by this physical, dark world.
Just waiting for the light,
Waiting for the sun to hit me in the face again,
Waiting for that little bit of hope I survive with.
How grounded?
How light?
How heavy?
How smart?
How?
These men,
And their voices,
They don’t allow me to hear the birds,
To hear the air,
To hear God,
To hear myself
And my own thoughts.
My body is here,
But I am not.
I find it difficult to find balance.
Knowledge through an atemporal approach;
I believe we all share this.
I type,
I think,
I feel,
And I observe.
I observe the gold on my rings shining as the sun comes out again,
Oh
How I missed the sun,
How I missed you,
How I missed myself.
Although,
I’ve always been the same.
The same human being,
The same Atenas,
The same daughter,
The same granddaughter,
But not the same-
Not the same-
Not the same.
Transforming,
Evolving,
Eating,
Not eating,
Growing,
Being,
Not being,
Feeling,
Feeling,
Always feeling,
Only I think I feel smarter now,
I think smarter now,
I am smarter now.
I am.
