Post your research essay draft on our Discussion Board here.
Your draft should include:
- a statement of purpose (describe the essay option you selected and add relevant information)
- a description of your research methods
- a working central idea
- supporting evidence/ your data
- your interpretation of evidence/ data
- a reference to at least one course material
- what you think you need to do to improve the draft
Next, comment on two classmates’ drafts by answering the peer review questions below:
Peer Review Questions
- Does the author clearly state the purpose of the essay?
- Does the author describe their research methods?
- Does the author state the central idea of the essay?
- Does the author support the central idea with relevant evidence?
- Does the author interpret relevant evidence?
- Does the author reference at least one course material?
- Is the essay well-organized?
- Are the grammar, syntax and vocabulary consistent and appropriate with a college-level essay?
- What are the strenghts of this draft?
- Do you have any other comments or suggestions?
54 thoughts on “Peer Review”
There are no peer questions?
please see questions above
I feel like this draft may be all over the place so I do apologize. I may need help Professor on understanding how to make it into my final research paper considering this is definitely imperfect.
Voting Limitations
Hey, how do you attach a file?
Hey right above post comment it says attachments and then says choose files
I don’t see that option above post comment.
Peer Review Questions
Does the author clearly state the purpose of the essay? – Yes! To share their findings and reflections based upon the literacy test given to African Americans trying to vote in the United States.
Does the author describe their research methods? – Yes! They administered the test to individuals to gauge their response to the test itself and how they felt about its origins.
Does the author state the central idea of the essay? – Absolutely. The central idea is that they were able to gleam more information about our voting history and some of the shameful practices our government imposed on citizens attempting to use their voice.
Does the author support the central idea with relevant evidence? – Yes! They took evidence from responses from those given the test and them taking the test themselves. Showing that a lot of the information on these tests is information that your average American may or may not know.
Does the author interpret relevant evidence? – Yes they do. The author brings up their findings and how it relates to their study.
Does the author reference at least one course material? – I didn’t see any reference to course material but that could just be my lack of reading comprehension skills. Maybe I missed something.
Is the essay well-organized? The essay is well organized. I was able to follow along with their main idea and their supporting points.
Are the grammar, syntax and vocabulary consistent and appropriate with a college-level essay? The essay felt a little too personal for ‘college-level’ but I’m not a fair judge of that. I prefer it that way. It makes things more interesting to read when it feels like someone is trying to teach you something interesting. It makes the paper more interesting. I have no qualms about it.
What are the strenghts of this draft? – The biggest strength of this draft is that it’s human. Instead of reading a monotonous paper that tries to hard to sound really smart, it felt like I was being told about the experience from a friend. It was more relatable. It felt like I was listening to someone I knew as opposed to having information shoved at me.
Do you have any other comments or suggestions? – Nothing that I can think of. I don’t think I’m in any position to critique anyone. After all, we’re posting rough drafts.
Hi Natalie, good draft so far.
Does the author clearly state the purpose of the essay? I’d say no. You went straight into it. A little bit of background or intro would help. I didn’t quite get what the topic was. I deduced it as I read along.
Does the author describe their research methods? Yes, you went into great detail about your methods and questions
Does the author state the central idea of the essay? Yes,
Does the author support the central idea with relevant evidence? Yes, you gave questions and responses as relevant evidence
Does the author interpret relevant evidence? Yes, she interpreted the responses of the people she interviewed
Does the author reference at least one course material? No
Is the essay well-organized? Yes
Are the grammar, syntax and vocabulary consistent and appropriate with a college-level essay? Yes
What are the strenghts of this draft? I think a big strength is that she is able to give her own personal experiences and feelings about the questions in tests, not just those of the people she interviewed.
Do you have any other comments or suggestions? None, good job so far.
Does the author clearly state the purpose of the essay? Yes the author talks about how she wants to do option 3
– Does the author describe their research methods? Yes the author says by researching and watching videos about the topic
– Does the author state the central idea of the essay? – yes, the author wants to talk about the minority group Pakistan
– Does the author support the central idea with relevant evidence? Yes, the author quotes relevant evidence
– Does the author interpret relevant evidence? Yes the author quoted people
– Does the author reference at least one course material? Yes, the author talks about an article we discussed
– Is the essay well-organized? Yes well organized
– Are the grammar, syntax and vocabulary consistent and appropriate with a college-level essay? it was good to me
– What are the strengths of this draft? – the author used proper quotes and proved her statements
– Do you have any other comments or suggestions? no
Natalie Laureano’s Essay:
Does the author clearly state the purpose of the essay?
A: Yes, the author states that she will study how states used literacy tests, and the determinations they made based on if questions were answered incorrectly.
Does the author describe their research methods?
A: Their research methods involved asking questions to the people around them on the history of a state.
Does the author state a central idea of the essay?
A: Yes, their central idea talks about literacy tests being used as a way to stop people from voting in the decades before us, such as using them to stop African Americans from voting.
Does the author support the central idea with relevant evidence?
A: The author supports the central idea by interviewing people, and asking them questions about taxes, and the state’s history.
Does the author interpret relevant evidence?
A: The author does interpret evidence by explaining why it is important to the study.
Does the author reference at least one-course material?
A: The author references course materials from week 12 relating to literacy tests taken by African Americans in the 1960s.
Is the essay well-organized?
A: The essay is organized, it’s not completed, she should continue her study, and bring more understanding to the reader about bow these literacy tests had a massive effect on voting.
Are the grammar, syntax, and vocabulary consistent and appropriate with a college-level essay?
A: Yes, the grammar and vocabulary do work especially for this type of study. It involves interviewing people in society.
What are the strengths of this draft?
A: The strengths of this draft are interviewing people on their opinions, and understanding how people dont truly understand the history of the states that they live in. It’s great because it refers to us regular citizens not knowing these facts even though we are United States citizens.
Do you have any other comments or suggestions
A: I do like the essay, it still needs to be finished, I would also add more and more evidence about what certain questions were being asked, and ask the interviewees about those same questions. Overall it’s a great format and path the author is on.
I logged in and found the attachments and choose files button.
Peer Review Research Essay
Does the author clearly state the purpose of the essay? Yes, the author clearly states the purpose of the essay, “I will examine how comfortable they are with speaking English to one another since it isnt their most fond way of communicating with each other. “
Does the author describe their research methods? Yes the author has a whole paragraph where they talk about how they will research
Does the author state the central idea of the essay? – yes the author states the central idea. The central idea is “ This study will allow me to fully understand the way my family members communicate with one another in American society, I will examine how comfortable they are with speaking English to one another since it isnt their most fond way of communicating with each other. “
Does the author support the central idea with relevant evidence? Yes the author includes quotes from people they talked to
Does the author interpret relevant evidence? Yes, the author explains the evidence
Does the author reference at least one course material? No the author does not have a reference to one course material
Is the essay well-organized? Yes, i actually love how you wrote it so well
Are the grammar, syntax and vocabulary consistent and appropriate with a college-level essay? yes
What are the strengths of this draft? – the strengths are how well written it is. It all just fits together
Do you have any other comments or suggestions?.just to add the one course source
1.Does the author clearly state the purpose of the essay?
Yes Joseph stated in the first summary that his essay will be on study of different ways people communicate in this community and within his family.
2.Does the author describe their research methods?
Yes He stated that he would be doing ethnography.
3.Does the author state the central idea of the essay?
Yes, his central idea was to figure out how comfortable they would be speaking out of their native language.
4.Does the author support the central idea with relevant evidence?
He supported it by conducting study of evidence and having different groups to experiment on.
5.Does the author interpret relevant evidence?
Yes, express that the Albanian in his community and his family all communicated the same way.
6.Does the author reference at least one course material?
Yes I believe so he mentioned the use of ethnography, community ithin a diverse group, immigrants. I believe these are all things we covered within our course.
7.Is the essay well-organized?
Not necessarily, he could use some subtitling at the top before each paragraph.
8.Are the grammar, syntax and vocabulary consistent and appropriate with a college-level essay?
It could be more advanced, I did notice some grammar Joseph which I am sure you will double check.
9.What are the strengths of this draft?
The strength of your essay is that it was very hands on and personal and I love that.
10.Do you have any other comments or suggestions?
My Suggestion would have been to do a study on other Albanians outside of your home to see if you got different prospective.
Does the author clearly state the purpose of the essay? Yes, Valon will be examining the literacy practice of Albanian language to understand the way they communicate.
Does the author describe their research methods? Yes, Valon will have family members speak their native language to study their literacy.
Does the author state the central idea of the essay? Yes, Valon made a list of their favorite ways they communicate and greet people.
Does the author support the central idea with relevant evidence? Yes, Valon asked their native language family members questions about why they don’t feel comfortable speaking english and they responded that “we never thought it was a big deal, this is our life and we have been communicating the same way for all our lives, even in America, why to change it?”
Does the author interpret relevant evidence? Yes, people feel more comfortable speaking their native language.
Does the author reference at least one course material? No
Is the essay well-organized? Yes, it was well organized
Are the grammar, syntax and vocabulary consistent and appropriate with a college-level essay? In my opinion, it’s appropriate with a college-level.
What are the strenghts of this draft? A 9 out of 10
Do you have any other comments or suggestions? Add at least one course material to your essay.
Thank you for the feedback!
I am trying to submit my draft essay; I can’t find where to submit it.
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Hello Professor and Fellow classmates Look forward to reading all of you drafts
Its kind of a mess
Literacy essay #2
Sorry guys the first one is not the one
Its this
Literacy #2
– Does the author clearly state the purpose of the essay? Yes the author talks about how she wants to do option 3
– Does the author describe their research methods? Yes the author says by researching and watching videos about the topic
– Does the author state the central idea of the essay? – yes, the author wants to talk about the minority group Pakistan
– Does the author support the central idea with relevant evidence? Yes, the author quotes relevant evidence
– Does the author interpret relevant evidence? Yes the author quoted people
– Does the author reference at least one course material? Yes, the author talks about an article we diss used
– Is the essay well-organized? Yes
– Are the grammar, syntax and vocabulary consistent and appropriate with a college-level essay? No, the grammar could be worked on
– What are the strengths of this draft? – the author used proper quotes and proved her statements
– Do you have any other comments or suggestions? My suggestion would be to reread and improve the grammar
1.Does the author clearly state the purpose of the essay?
The author stated that she wanted to take a deeper dive into a specific minority group of Pakistani people.
2.Does the author describe their research methods?
Yes the author stated that they did research, and watched videos on the particular group.
3.Does the author state the central idea of the essay?
No Central idea was stated in the first summary that I am aware of.
4.Does the author support the central idea with relevant evidence?
No, In the second paragraph the author went on to stating the minority group struggles but no back story or evidence as to why they are struggling or why they are having challenges. It can’t just be because of their race and if it is then why ?
5.Does the author interpret relevant evidence?
Yes, further along she incorporated some aspects as to why they face challenges.
6.Does the author reference at least one course material?
I believe so, being a different race, immigrants and the different types of stereotypes.
7.Is the essay well-organized?
No, It could use more organization, subtitles and transitional words.
8.Are the grammar, syntax and vocabulary consistent and appropriate with a college-level essay?
It could be more advanced, more put into your own words than loading the paper with quotes. I Believe the author needs more research material.
9.What are the strengths of this draft?
The strength I see is the author trying to put herself in their shoes and making a personal connection.
10.Do you have any other comments or suggestions?
I suggest that you check your grammar, include some transitional words and maybe get more intel from a pakistani individuals to tell their aspect and how life is day to day for them.
Does the author clearly state the purpose of the essay? Yes, the author decided to conduct research on the Pakistanis group to understand the way they live and literacy skills.
Does the author describe their research methods? Yes, the author indicated their going to watch videos to understand Pakistanis background.
Does the author state the central idea of the essay? Yes, the author written in their research paper the challenges Pakistanis group faces when it comes to literacy in and out of school.
Does the author support the central idea with relevant evidence? Yes, the author added a article that discuss the challenges Pakistanis faces. “Are you Pakistani? Are you a Terrorist? The Question Muslim Children Face at School”
Does the author interpret relevant evidence? Yes
Does the author reference at least one course material? Yes, the author added a article we discussed in one of our weeks material.
Is the essay well-organized? Yes, it’s easy to follow and understand the author research paper.
Are the grammar, syntax and vocabulary consistent and appropriate with a college-level essay? Yes
What are the strenghts of this draft? Providing articles, being detailed in their research paper, providing details about the challenges the Pakistani group faces in and out of school.
Do you have any other comments or suggestions? The research paper is perfect.
It’s not complete. I need to add more information.
Ethnolgraphy of Community week 11 Draft essay
Peer Review Questions
Does the author clearly state the purpose of the essay? Yes! To bring awareness to the Indigenous Australians and what their educational hurdles are in relation to a Westernized school system.
Does the author describe their research methods? – Seems to me that the research has been done by looking through books and other academic sources for information. Checks out for me.
Does the author state the central idea of the essay? – Yes! The central idea that Indigenous Australians are suffering in a westernized school experience that doesn’t help bolster their identity due to preconceived notions of indigenous peoples in western society.
Does the author support the central idea with relevant evidence? Yes, there are multiple points made throughout that shows the author has a clear understanding of their topic and what information is needed to address it.
Does the author interpret relevant evidence? – Yes
Does the author reference at least one course material? – I believe the entire paper could be a reference to the learning material of week 4. While they aren’t Native Americans, they are still indigenous people facing the same issues that our Native American neighbors are facing. A westernized school system that offers no opportunities for cultural growth and acceptance.
Is the essay well-organized? – I was able to follow along with all points and ideas presented in the essay due to the clear construction of the essay itself.
Are the grammar, syntax and vocabulary consistent and appropriate with a college-level essay? – Seems good to me. I didn’t notice any glaring mistakes but yet again I am no English professor. I’m sure my essay will have some hiccups.
What are the strengths of this draft? It is very well put together for a draft. There is already a strong central idea supported by points. I was able to follow along and the information presented was easy to understand.
Do you have any other comments or suggestions? – Can’t say that I do. Good luck and I’m excited to read the finished product!
Thank you so much for your feedback Joseph; It was extremely helpful. I will add week 4 material into my research paper.
Debanie Santos Essay:
Does the author clearly state the purpose of the essay?
A: Yes, she states how the children of the Australian schooling system aren’t teaching them about their roots, and past indigenous laws and beliefs.
Does the author describe their research methods?
A: Yes, the author correlates evidence about what is being taught in schools, and how certain regions are learning about western cultures but not their own.
Does the author state a central idea of the essay?
A: yes, the author states a central idea relating to how Australian school systems are teaching children about their ancestors and core beliefs, and how it will affect their learning abilities.
Does the author support the central idea with relevant evidence?
A: Yes the author supports the central idea with evidence about indigenous families not being able to have the same opportunities to learn in the schooling system.
Does the author interpret relevant evidence?
A: Yes, the author explains how the evidence presented has an effect on the children and how they learn.
Does the author reference at least one-course material?
A: Yes, the author’s ideas correlate to those of the Native Americans with the indigenous people not having the same opportunities to learn in the western schooling system.
Is the essay well-organized?
A: Yes, the evidence is well proposed, and the analysis of the evidence is clear-cut.
Are the grammar, syntax, and vocabulary consistent and appropriate with a college-level essay?
A: Yes, I would say it is appropriate with a college-level essay.
What are the strengths of this draft?
A: The strengths of this draft are the central idea, and how the evidence backs it up.
Do you have any other comments or suggestions?
A: A suggestion I would have is to try and elaborate on the topic a bit more, before adding the evidence, so the reader can learn more about the subject.
Option 1: Ethnography of Community
I haven’t quite finished yet peers but this is what I have so far:
“The Impact of the institutionalization of literacy amongst the Blackfeet community.”
Do you guys see my attachedment
?
no we dont see it
https://docs.google.com/file/d/1tpRyBI0Tx37XyyAXGGhTGMMU3wKCFqVX/edit?usp=docslist_api&filetype=msword
Maya Perez
ACR 150
Professor Barnes
November 8 , 2021
Thesis Statement –
In this Research Paper Ive chosen a topic / article that is very controversial but has been surfacing recently and that is abortion which is a very moving and complex topic , Many people are for it and many are against it, some people are being forced out of their own will to do it , it needs to be stopped and fought against. In this paper I’ve gathered 2 volunteers to share their own perspectives on abortion and I will be sharing their opinions on it. However I did have more volunteers but I was only able to get two for the draft but for the essay I will be getting more people’s opinion.
Person 1-
Abortions have always been controversial. Their have been so many ideals regarding the decisions on having an an abortion vs not having an abortion. In some countries abortions are not acceptable due to religious beliefs or just moral standards.
Other countries feel that it should be a women’s choice. For years this topic has caused so many complicated situations for women especially ones that have unwanted, Pregnances . Some women were forced to keep them. While others that had abortions faced legal sentencing. The green wave has made much needed progress in some countries. As result some countries are for abortion and our allowing women in some cases to have abortions. As a woman I agree with other women deciding on their own free will to Decide what is right for her whether it be to have the child or to abort. Their body is their choice no matter what they choose, good or bad it’s their Bodies.
Person 2 –
The court said that state efforts to protect fetal life also had to recognize women’s rights not to be treated as “a reproductive instrument for the human race.”I think this is such an important quote from the article because it seems like so many things in healthcare do not protect or support women. Ex. Health Insurance not supporting Birth control, feminine products, etc.
In Bolivia, the recent case of an 11-year-old raped by her 61-year-old step-grandfather and forced to carry the pregnancy to term has reopened this debate.
This is horrific and you hear many stories like this however it’s not just just rape victims that are the concern. It’s children being born into unsafe or unsupported environments where young women who are not prepared to be mothers or women who may be in abusive relationships are forced to take on the challenge of now also being a mother and having to raise and protect their children in addition to themselves.It also exacerbates inequality and discrimination. Many, particularly those who live in poverty or in rural areas, resort to unsafe self-induced abortions or seek assistance from untrained providers. The abortion rate is higher in countries that restrict abortion access than in those that do not.
This just tells me that we are creating a world where we are forcing nature on women, instead of nurturing and utilizing the strides we’ve made in education, science, and ultimately personally social and emotional health. We should be creating nurturing environments where women, especially in discriminated and low economic communities are given options and opportunities to make choices.
I’m excited to hear about the Green Wave Movement, just so that women know they are not alone and people are campaigning and fighting and protesting to defend a person’s freedom and right to make choices for their bodies and lives. These voices need to be heard. You know if men could bear a child you’d be able to get an abortion for free at Rite Aid or Duane Reade.
Citation –
Maya Perez
ACR 150
Professor Barnes
November 8 , 2021
Thesis Statement –
In this Research Paper Ive chosen a topic / article that is very controversial but has been surfacing recently and that is abortion which is a very moving and complex topic , Many people are for it and many are against it, some people are being forced out of their own will to do it , it needs to be stopped and fought against. In this paper I’ve gathered 2 volunteers to share their own perspectives on abortion and I will be sharing their opinions on it. However I did have more volunteers but I was only able to get two for the draft but for the essay I will be getting more people’s opinion.
Person 1-
Abortions have always been controversial. Their have been so many ideals regarding the decisions on having an an abortion vs not having an abortion. In some countries abortions are not acceptable due to religious beliefs or just moral standards.
Other countries feel that it should be a women’s choice. For years this topic has caused so many complicated situations for women especially ones that have unwanted, Pregnances . Some women were forced to keep them. While others that had abortions faced legal sentencing. The green wave has made much needed progress in some countries. As result some countries are for abortion and our allowing women in some cases to have abortions. As a woman I agree with other women deciding on their own free will to Decide what is right for her whether it be to have the child or to abort. Their body is their choice no matter what they choose, good or bad it’s their Bodies.
Person 2 –
The court said that state efforts to protect fetal life also had to recognize women’s rights not to be treated as “a reproductive instrument for the human race.”I think this is such an important quote from the article because it seems like so many things in healthcare do not protect or support women. Ex. Health Insurance not supporting Birth control, feminine products, etc.
In Bolivia, the recent case of an 11-year-old raped by her 61-year-old step-grandfather and forced to carry the pregnancy to term has reopened this debate.
This is horrific and you hear many stories like this however it’s not just just rape victims that are the concern. It’s children being born into unsafe or unsupported environments where young women who are not prepared to be mothers or women who may be in abusive relationships are forced to take on the challenge of now also being a mother and having to raise and protect their children in addition to themselves.It also exacerbates inequality and discrimination. Many, particularly those who live in poverty or in rural areas, resort to unsafe self-induced abortions or seek assistance from untrained providers. The abortion rate is higher in countries that restrict abortion access than in those that do not.
This just tells me that we are creating a world where we are forcing nature on women, instead of nurturing and utilizing the strides we’ve made in education, science, and ultimately personally social and emotional health. We should be creating nurturing environments where women, especially in discriminated and low economic communities are given options and opportunities to make choices.
I’m excited to hear about the Green Wave Movement, just so that women know they are not alone and people are campaigning and fighting and protesting to defend a person’s freedom and right to make choices for their bodies and lives. These voices need to be heard. You know if men could bear a child you’d be able to get an abortion for free at Rite Aid or Duane Reade.
Citation –
Maya Perez
ACR 150
Professor Barnes
November 8 , 2021
Thesis Statement –
In this Research Paper Ive chosen a topic / article that is very controversial but has been surfacing recently and that is abortion which is a very moving and complex topic , Many people are for it and many are against it, some people are being forced out of their own will to do it , it needs to be stopped and fought against. In this paper I’ve gathered 2 volunteers to share their own perspectives on abortion and I will be sharing their opinions on it. However I did have more volunteers but I was only able to get two for the draft but for the essay I will be getting more people’s opinion.
Person 1-
Abortions have always been controversial. Their have been so many ideals regarding the decisions on having an an abortion vs not having an abortion. In some countries abortions are not acceptable due to religious beliefs or just moral standards.
Other countries feel that it should be a women’s choice. For years this topic has caused so many complicated situations for women especially ones that have unwanted, Pregnances . Some women were forced to keep them. While others that had abortions faced legal sentencing. The green wave has made much needed progress in some countries. As result some countries are for abortion and our allowing women in some cases to have abortions. As a woman I agree with other women deciding on their own free will to Decide what is right for her whether it be to have the child or to abort. Their body is their choice no matter what they choose, good or bad it’s their Bodies.
Person 2 –
The court said that state efforts to protect fetal life also had to recognize women’s rights not to be treated as “a reproductive instrument for the human race.”I think this is such an important quote from the article because it seems like so many things in healthcare do not protect or support women. Ex. Health Insurance not supporting Birth control, feminine products, etc.
In Bolivia, the recent case of an 11-year-old raped by her 61-year-old step-grandfather and forced to carry the pregnancy to term has reopened this debate.
This is horrific and you hear many stories like this however it’s not just just rape victims that are the concern. It’s children being born into unsafe or unsupported environments where young women who are not prepared to be mothers or women who may be in abusive relationships are forced to take on the challenge of now also being a mother and having to raise and protect their children in addition to themselves.It also exacerbates inequality and discrimination. Many, particularly those who live in poverty or in rural areas, resort to unsafe self-induced abortions or seek assistance from untrained providers. The abortion rate is higher in countries that restrict abortion access than in those that do not.
This just tells me that we are creating a world where we are forcing nature on women, instead of nurturing and utilizing the strides we’ve made in education, science, and ultimately personally social and emotional health. We should be creating nurturing environments where women, especially in discriminated and low economic communities are given options and opportunities to make choices.
I’m excited to hear about the Green Wave Movement, just so that women know they are not alone and people are campaigning and fighting and protesting to defend a person’s freedom and right to make choices for their bodies and lives. These voices need to be heard. You know if men could bear a child you’d be able to get an abortion for free at Rite Aid or Duane Reade.
Citation –
I want to apologize if the format is not how it’s supposed to be. This is just how I outline my thoughts to make it easier to put them to paper. As stated by the title, this is a SUPER rough draft/outline.
SUPER Rough Draft_Outline
Does the author clearly state the purpose of the essay? No however it’s an outline and there is a good amount of info for the introduction
Does the author describe their research methods? yes. he went into details about the tests he administered
Does the author state the central idea of the essay? Yes
Does the author support the central idea with relevant evidence? Yes, he gave results of the test
Does the author interpret relevant evidence? Yes, he gave explanations and feedback
Does the author reference at least one course material? yes
Is the essay well-organized? yes, extremely well organized
Are the grammar, syntax and vocabulary consistent and appropriate with a college-level essay? yes
What are the strenghts of this draft? That it is in outline format. It was very easy to read and grasp the topic. Can only imagine the full essay
Do you have any other comments or suggestions? none, good outline
Does the author clearly state the purpose of the essay? Yes their topic is clear.
Does the author describe their research methods? Yes they laid out their plan and know the information they will use.
Does the author state the central idea of the essay? Yes they do. It involves talking about literacy tests.
Does the author support the central idea with relevant evidence? Yes. They mention data about giving a test to people and he discusses the results.
Does the author interpret relevant evidence? It is a format.But he does have relevant evidence that will support his claim.
Does the author reference at least one course material? I believe so not sure
Is the essay well-organized? Yes it is organized.
Are the grammar, syntax and vocabulary consistent and appropriate with a college-level essay? Yeah
What are the strengths of this draft? Some strengths of this draft is.they have a strong plan and I think it will be.a strong essay especially with the evidence of administering literacy tests,.
Do you have any other comments or suggestions? Great plan and good luck on your essay!
It is not complete. I need to add a solution plan and add more information for paragraph 2&3.
Research Essay Literacy History Project
Does the author clearly state the purpose of the essay? No, the author does not clearly state the purpose
Does the author describe their research methods? Nope the author does not describe the research method
Does the author state the central idea of the essay? – yes, “The junction of these inequities is found in urbanization. Minority and low-income students both fail on standardized tests and have poor reading skills”
Does the author support the central idea with relevant evidence? Yes the author uses number evidence from history
Does the author interpret relevant evidence? Yes
Does the author reference at least one course material? No the author does not use a course material reference
Is the essay well-organized? So far, yes because the author hasnt finished
Are the grammar, syntax and vocabulary consistent and appropriate with a college-level essay? Yes
What are the strengths of this draft? – the strengths are the numbers used
Do you have any other comments or suggestions?. I would suggest try adding a course material souce
1. Does the author clearly state the purpose of the essay? Yes the author clearly states the purpose of the essay which researches how urbanization affects minority and low income students
2. Does the author describe their research methods? The author does not describe their research method but begins to touch base on what methods could be possible.
3. Does the author state the central idea of the essay? Yes the author does state the central idea which focuses on minorities and how low income affects their proficiency in school.
4. Does the author support the central idea with relevant evidence? Yes the author supports the central idea with statistics and sources about minority groups within the educational system.
5. Does the author interpret relevant evidence? The author does interpret relevant evidence but does not state from where they are getting the evidence.
6. Does the author reference at least one course material? The author does not reference any course materials in this draft.
7. Is the essay well organized? The essay is well organized and flows clearly to understand the research question.
8. Are the grammar, syntax and vocabulary consistent and appropriate with a college level essay? Yes the vocabulary is consistent but there could be room for improvement.
9. What are the strengths of this draft ? The strengths of this draft is that it develops a great research question that begins to really explain the topic in an understandable manner.
10. Do you have any other comments or suggestions?
Additionally comments would be to add in more sources and quotes to enhance the research so it pulls all of the information together.
Research Draft #2
Ardit Alijaj REASEARCH
Does the author clearly state the purpose of the essay? Yes in the beginning they state on what they will be talking about .
Does the author describe their research methods? Yes the author did state their research method in the second paragraph.
Does the author state the central idea of the essay? Yes they do. It involves talking about Asian Americans and how they are impacted by literacy in the US
Does the author support the central idea with relevant evidence? Yes with strong evidence and statistics and even cited their info.
Does the author interpret relevant evidence? Yes
Does the author reference at least one course material? I believe so since we did talk about the Asian American literacy perspective
Is the essay well-organized? Very organized.
Are the grammar, syntax and vocabulary consistent and appropriate with a college-level essay? I believe so
What are the strengths of this draft? Some strengths of this draft is.. it is really organized and it has strong evidnece from different sources.
Do you have any other comments or suggestions? Great start and the essay is written well.
Research draft. This is proving more challenging than I thought.
research draft
Does the author clearly state the purpose of the essay?
Yes, In the title and first sentence they state that they chose literacy in the African community.
Does the author describe their research methods?
Yes they explain how they went into NYC neighborhoods with African communities.
Does the author state the central idea of the essay?
Yes, They explain how they explored the importance of literacy within African communities and the ain of gaining insight into what it means to be literate/illiterate to African immigrants here in NYC
Does the author support the central idea with relevant evidence?
Yes, their own personal research
Does the author interpret relevant evidence?
Yes, your own research especially things you find yourself is evidence and its especially relevant since it’s recent
Does the author reference at least one course material?
Yes they used our very first course material
Is the essay well-organized?
Yes, even if it’s not finished they outlined the plan for the rest of the paper
Are the grammar, syntax and vocabulary consistent and appropriate with a college-level essay?
Yes, I would think so.
What are the strengths of this draft?
I think the strength is that the author was able to research everything themselves and find things by venturing off into the different neighborhoods and experiencing everything themselves.
Do you have any other comments or suggestions?
No I think it’s a great draft that is very organized and the topic is also fascinating!
i only have my introduction done but i’ve done an outline on what each paragraph is going to be about. Please let me know what you think about my intro so i could perfect it before starting on the next paragraphs.
literacy history project
Essay option 1
Ethnography of Community
The purpose is to see how my church community utilizes literature to be unified and benefit each other.
My research method is to question the people in our church community as well as simply observe them.
The church utilizes the choir, bible study, and sermons as a mean to connect to people.
After interviewing the member of the church community many of them stated that being part of this community brings peace of mind and purpose.
As of now, I lack resources to back up my claims and support my ideas.
I am still working on my draft. But any suggestions and comments will be appreciated!
ACR – Research Draft
Does the author clearly state the purpose of the essay?
Yes, the author explains that they will be talking about the importance of literacy and how it is different in every minority community.
Does the author describe their research methods?
Yes, they explain how previous videos from our class have helped with their research.
Does the author state the central idea of the essay?
Yes, that goes hand in hand with the different communities and they also go on to state they will be talking about American Indian and Alaskan Native communities when it comes to literacy and how they struggled to improve in school.
Does the author support the central idea with relevant evidence?
Yes, with past articles from our class along with quotes.
Does the author interpret relevant evidence?
Yes, they have quotes and explain their own opinions and statements.
Does the author reference at least one course material?
Yes
Is the essay well-organized?
I believe so, it seems very organized especially for a rough draft.
Are the grammar, syntax and vocabulary consistent and appropriate with a college-level essay?
Yes
What are the strengths of this draft?
I believe the strengths are how educated the author is and how much thorough information is provided.
Do you have any other comments or suggestions?
No I think it was really good especially for a rough draft
Option 1: Ethnography of Community
I haven’t quite finished yet peers but this is what I have so far:
“The Impact of the institutionalization of literacy amongst the Blackfeet community.”
Institutionalization involves the transformation of rules and procedures that affect a set of human interactions. The process aims at taking control of societal behavior as well as the organizations between the societies. The process aims at the adoption, installation as well as the alteration of rules in all the societal spheres. Institutionalization has various effects on both communities and individuals. This paper, therefore, aims at discussing the impact of the institutionalization of literacy on the indigenous groups of North America, particularly the Blackfeet. The paper will further focus on the literacy practices among the Blackfeet that have been ignored by formal schooling while considering the viability of these practices. Finally, the paper will analyze the use of the hegemonic tools of literacy practice among this tribe in gaining access to power.
The Blackfeet community is a federally recognized tribe of Siksikaitsitapi people located in the east Glacier National Park and borders the Canadian province of Alberta. The Blackfeet tribe established settlements in the region after 1600 CE. The community is made up of three tribes namely: The Siksika which are located in the far north of Canada, the Kainah to the south and the Pikuni.
Due to the policies regarding the colonization of the native tribes in America as a way of bringing about settlements and preventing movements around the plains, treaties were made thus greatly affecting the Blackfeet community. These treaties which were written in English and interpreted through the court of laws led to the institutionalization of the Blackfeet community literacy activities. Such treaties include the treaty that was signed in 1855 and later 1888 after the establishment of schools where an Indian agent was assigned the role of directing the affairs of the Blackfeet. In this treaty, specifications for the monetary terms for educating them were made. The treaty aimed at converting the Blackfeet children into an acceptable image that would distinguish them from their ancestors. The introduction of education amongst the Blackfeet greatly affected their way of life as education was a way of converting them from their lifestyle to that of the idealized white people. Education therefore played a great role in the institutionalization of literacy amongst the Blackfeet as children who joined schools were converted into the white man ways hence affecting most of their cultural ways.
Draft Revision
Ardit Alijaj Essay Draft Revised
Ardit Alijaj Draft Revision
Ardit Alijaj Essay Draft Revised
JANINE MASON
ACR 150
Professor Barnes
15 November 2021
“Literacy Voting Test = State Approved Systemic Racism”
Voting today is much simpler compared to the 1800 and 1900’s. Not without it’s problems of course but if we dig into the background and investigate the blood sweat and tears our ancestors went through, literally fighting for the right to vote, I think we would all be at the poll both anxious to cast our votes. In my research paper It is my intention to share with you a bit of a background about the tactics employed by Federal and State Governments, resulting in voter suppression, primarily of African Americans and some poor White voters.
One of the methods I will discuss in the research paper if the use of literacy test to disfranchise/deprive, blacks in the south, while allowing whites in the same state to vote. These tests were used until the late 1960’s. Sanctioned by the federal government, the test was given to voters, supposedly to test their ability to read and write, however one just needs to look at whom and how the test were created and administered to see, that in reality they were designed to discriminate against African Americans. In my research paper I will distribute a historic literacy test to at least five adults. I will then write my research paper including the results and reaction to the test.
Literary tests were intentionally confusing and impossible to pass by most people, but they were not the only methods enacted and designed to stop Black American from voting. Voter suppression also came in the form of Poll Taxes, white only primaries, grandfather clauses and threats and violence, all to suppress the Black vote. In my essay, I will investigate the tactics mentioned in greater detail to give a better sense of the extent of great roadblocks black voters experienced and how it supports the idea that these were tactics employed to stop the Black vote.
While doing research for this paper, I envisioned the stress and anxiousness Black voters felt when going to take this exam. It reminded me of “The Library Card” episode from Richard Wright’s “Black Boy.” I will attempt to share “why” as part of my research paper.
The harsh reality is that from around 1870 until 1965, when the Voting Rights act was passed, most Black men and woman were effectively barred from voting. Today, Black Americans have full rights as American to vote but it came as great cost. My aim is that after reading my essay, the reader will understand the cost of the black vote in America and the perseverance of those who paved the way to make it possible.
Janine Mason
Professor Barnes
ACR 150
Peer Review Questions
1. Does the author clearly state the purpose of the essay? Yes, she states, that her aim is discussing the impact of the institutionalization of literacy on the indigenous groups of North America, particularly the Blackfeet.
2. Does the author describe their research methods? I do not see in the draft, a mention of a specific method employed for their research.
3. Does the author state the central idea of the essay? Yes, she will discuss the impact of institutionalization of literacy on the indigenous Blackfeet people.
4. Does the author support the central idea with relevant evidence? Yes, to support her central idea, she will further focus on the literacy practices among the Blackfeet, which have been ignored by formal schooling. Finally, her paper will analyze the use of the hegemonic tools of literacy practice among the tribe in gaining access to power.
5. Does the author interpret relevant evidence? Yes, she speaks for the policies regarding colonization of native tribes in America and the treaties that led to the institutionalization of Blackfeet community literary activities.
6. Does the author reference at least one course material? I did not see a reference to a course material used.
7. Is the essay well-organized? Yes, the essay is well organized. You can tell she wants the reader to understand the points she is making.
8. Are the grammar, syntax, and vocabulary consistent and appropriate with a college-level essay? Yes, the authors grammar, syntax and vocabulary are consistent and appropriate for a college-level essay.
9. What are the strengths of this draft? The strength of this draft is that because it is well laid out, the author just has to go back in and expand on her thoughts, to have a complete essay.
10. Do you have any other comments or suggestions? My one suggestion would be to include which method she used, of the five options given, to gather her research.
Janine Mason
Professor Barnes
ACR 150
Peer Review Questions #2
1. Does the author clearly state the purpose of the essay? Yes, The purpose of her essay is to share the opinion of two volunteers, as well as her own, on the subject of abortion and freedom of choice.
2. Does the author describe their research methods? Yes, they gathered the perspectives of two volunteers on the subject of abortion.
3. Does the author state the central idea of the essay? Yes, that some women will opt for abortion by choice, but there are others who feel they cannot practice their own free will to abort and that they should not feel like that. They state that should be stopped and fought against.
4. Does the author support the central idea with relevant evidence? Yes, they supported their central idea with the responses from the two volunteers, which share the authors view on the topic of abortion.
5. Does the author interpret relevant evidence? Yes, the author uses case a case specific example and the actual responses from the volunteers.
6. Does the author reference at least one course material? I did not see a reference to a course material used.
7. Is the essay well-organized? The essay seems well organized by response from person number one, followed by response from person number two, followed by her opinion.
8. Are the grammar, syntax, and vocabulary consistent and appropriate with a college-level essay? Yes, the authors grammar, syntax and vocabulary are consistent and appropriate for a college-level essay.
9. What are the strengths of this draft? The strength of this draft is that the author uses her own voice along with the volunteers, to support an issue they are clearly passionate about.
10. Do you have any other comments or suggestions? I think if the author expands on her thoughts and those of her two volunteers, they will have a well written research paper.