In this week’s reading, Beyond the Gender Binary by Alok Vaid Manon, Alok not only makes clear their own path with gender, but also gives the readers such a concise break down of how we can all pave a path to move beyond the gender binary. Alok does not miss a beat as they cover the history, rebute all arguments, and paint a picture of what gender expression can be.

For Alok, moving beyond the gender binary is not so much a choice they make, but rather that it’s not an option to live in oppression. It means having the freedom to live and explore life as they need to in order to be authentic, happy, and useful to the world and themself. No one is able to live a happy life when they’re being forced to lie to themselves and the world around them. So the choice they are making, is a choice to be authentic and happy, and as a result they need to move beyond the gender binary because they do not have a place to identify in a binary world. As an activist, Alok has also taken the role of teaching, fighting, and educating everyone for people that do not have space in this binary world. For Alok it is more than just a self expression and discovery, but a mission to dismantle a way of living that does not work for people.

Where I grew up, there was not a lot of discussion around gender identities. We were aware of sexual preferences, but nothing beyond whether someone was homosexual, heterosexual, or bisexual. I am a heterosexual female and my pronouns are she/her. So, in those very basic ways I fit into the binary norm. The ways I do not fit into the binary norm did cause a lot of confusion for me, but never enough that I would say I’ve struggled in any sort of way that most people who do not fit into the gender binary do. I was a dancer and spent most of my life in places that offered a lot of freedom to self-expression and identity.

My parents brought me up to be an independent, strong woman. We played sports, did a lot of outdoor activities, I was encouraged to be myself, have opinions, develop my intellect, and love myself the way I look naturally. These virtues do not go along with the traditional and common binary roles and I felt that a lot as a young girl and a woman. Tomboy, independent, strong, opinionated, were always feedback I received from people in not necessarily positive ways. It was always stated as a “unique” or “different” trait. If I ever mentioned anything about struggling with meeting a romantic partner, these traits were brought up. And, other comments I heard often in response were that I needed to put more makeup on or be more “girly” to get a boyfriend.

I had never heard anyone talking about fluidity in gender, or mentioning any idea of there being different ways to be, different people looking for different things. I also never heard anyone mention that you could feel different on the inside than you looked on the outside. That was where I have always had a disconnect. I don’t feel girly, but I look like a feminine woman, and I would often have people seem let down when they had created an idea of who they thought i was and I turned out “different”. Therefor I thought there was something wrong with me. So, as a result I think I accepted that I was different from the binary normative roles with some things and that would just be a challenge for me. Which is an example of how stunting these beliefs are, there is no reason I should have spent my time thinking that about myself.

I have definitely found my own way into shaping myself as a person, accepting and celebrating my authenticity, and learning to allow the nuances of being a full human exist within me, but it was through a different route. I think life could be entirely different if we were offered freedom to become the best people we can be, So, I would say that young people are very lucky now to have this conversation on the table, especially coming from people like Alok.

The definition of feminism that Bell hooks presents in Feminist Politics Where We Stand is primarily concerned with sexism, “a movement to end sexism, sexist exploitation, and oppression.” She is calling people to look at the root cause of sexual inequality, instead of the symptoms. This means we start to break down the separation of what it means to be either gender, and stop using people for traits that are based on this gender and/or forcing anyone to only live in the limited roles of these. If we didn’t see women or men differently, we wouldn’t be able to force either into a role. Oppression comes from holding someone back, not allowing them the full range of their potential, and if a person is forced to fit inside the role assigned to them, this is oppression. A woman would have to stay home, not have ambition towards a career, if she had desires outside what was outlined for the female role, she would need to hide them and deny herself of being authentic. Sexual exploitation comes from using people for the roles that have been assigned to them, often outside of their consent even being considered. Example, making a women do all the housework, not have a career, being a sex symbol, have her body used in ways that she might not want them used, having more or less children than she might want to have, getting paid less if she is able to work, and being used for jobs that pay a low wage.

A society was built off these sex and gender roles, and everyone was expected to follow and fit into something that was not true and therefore not healthy. Hooks is saying that liberation needs to start from there, from breaking down the roles. This is a sound strategy, as it keeps the focus on the people as one, instead of seeing it as one against the other. Which, in turn, would continue to the same amount of inequality, a vicious cycle. As a result, it seems that as long as things are started from a place of inequality, somewhere someone will be exploited, as the system is still unequal. Which is exactly what happened when women took the bargain of reformist feminism. This was a reaction to what was probably handed to them as an alternative, women wanting what men had. This is a definition of feminism that is still so present in modern day politics and feminist conversation, wanting to be equal with men in a tit for tat kind of exchange. As Bell Hooks explains, this results in the exploitation of other women to pick up the slack, remaining in a class structure, with a still very unresolved issue of sexism.

I agree with Bell Hooks definition of feminism and I believe that problems need to be addressed at the root of the issue. I did always think that feminism was about women being equal with men, and with that I saw a lot of anger towards men, which I never related to. I didn’t see how that could be a solution, especially since most men might not even want what they have if they had a chance to really live a true life outside of the roles they have been forced into.

Which brings me to the second reading of the week, Sex and Gender 101. I knew that gender was a social construct, but this reading really helped clarify what seemed like a lot of vagueness and word of mouth. Specifically about what the difference between what is biological, what is assigned, what is gender identity, and even that sexual orientation is it’s very own category that can be entirely separate form each of those. Through identifying the science of our biology and spelling out the ways in which it affects a person (primary and secondary traits) I am able to see how all of these categories are truly fluid. One does not necessarily have to have an affect on or relate to another. That is something I felt to be true, but had never heard it explained so clearly, with information to back it up.

I found both of these readings very informative as well as enlightening.

My name is Clare Kutsko. I am in my final credits at BMCC towards a AA in Psychology. I am majoring in Psychology with an end goal of being a therapist, which has been a dream of mine for many years.

I am in school part time, taking anywhere from 1-3 classes a semester, as I am already in a career as an Interior Designer. Which I have been doing for 10+ years now. I have had some amazing jobs and have learned a lot in this field, as you do with any professional experience. One important thing I have learned is how to connect the dots to understand what lead me from one interest to another, and how to identify those strengths that can be utilized to help me in my next chapter.

Working with others and developing the ability to communicate, pay attention to people’s needs and wants, and have a genuine desire to continue to improve upon what you bring to a work environment are all extremely valuable skills that I can apply throughout my life.

I also have really enjoyed being in school, I love to learn new things, and I especially love to hear how others think and feel about topics. I am looking forward to this class!