This week reading was an interesting one, I identify myself with a few points that Alok Vaid Manon, the author of Beyond the Gender Binary, brought up. The reading focuses on the importance of being comfortable in your own skin and having both men and women live in a world where it is not just two genders but multiple and have people be comfortable enough to choose who they are. I really found it interesting that he added dialogue that for me stands for not just one-person talking but many people who have these thoughts without being educated. It threw me off a bit and confused me for a second because I have not read an informative book like this plus, I know a lot of people who think like that, I on the other hand did not really interact with that topic when brought up because it was not something I had knowledge of. The way he answers all the dialogue though is great since binary people want to talk about things they do not know since some do not really bother to interact with nonbinary and gender Non comforting people that lead to many lies circulating. One that stood out to me is “Why use the pronouns they when its plural? Its not grammatically, correct?” This made me think of the reading we had last week where it was stated that the gender pronouns one uses are aspects of gender identity and how people think about themselves. This stood out to me because I had not thought about the importance of these pronouns until very recently, this is how people identify themselves and should be respected because if not were only contributing to the problem of tolerating but not accepting them. This made me change my point of view instead of thinking for only what binary people think of women such as the feminism movement we should learn more to be able to help and prioritize comfort for everyone including non-binary, trans and gender non comforting people that society refuses to acknowledge.  

Melissa Valle Reading Reflection 2 

The reading regarding Beyond the Gender Binary was a remarkably interesting read. The professor only gave us a section to read, so I ordered the book, highly informative. I have always known that it is difficult for people with various categories of identity. I just did not think that it was still so strong in not being accepted at least a bit. It is a little hard for me to accept that we still have so many ignorant people in the world. Alok lets us know that the gender binary is a cultural belief that there are only two distinct and opposite genders:  men and woman. while this is true, that does not necessarily mean that Is how we feel we are inside. Who says that we cannot have choices and be who we feel we are? People today should be less judgmental and less quick to say things they should not say to make one feel uncomfortable and unimportant and learn about the binary, non-binary identities to better understand and integrate in the movement. People are so worried about how others should feel, should think and look. All for what? What business is it of theirs to judge others on the choices to identify as they please. Be who you want to be, express who you are: woman, man, both, neither or anywhere in between the gender spectrum.  

Natasha Luciano

Alok’s Beyond the Gender Bianary teaches us to be true to ourselves. We owe ourselves to stand in our beliefs and walk with our head held high. Sometimes it can be difficult with all the other obstacles thrown in our way. Alok has a way of writing that it is forward and direct there was no beating around the bush. The information they shared was truly eye opening and at the same time I was not surprised. People who do not understand or judge always have something negative to say. When that young man came up to them and said why do you wear that and then the young man said I use to wear dresses when I was younger but then I stopped. Alok felt bad because he could see the sadness in the young man’s eyes. I thought for a second his family beat it into his head that dresses are for girls, you need to stop, this thought really made me sad. We were never meant to fit in a box. They must fight to exist to be heard and respected like actual human beings. The fact that they are not allowed to use the bathroom and people call the police officers! It is heart shattering. Things are the way they are because people and the government are so uncomfortable with change and acknowledging that there is more than just being a woman and just being a male. Alok really showed how ignorant and problematic people are. The system is made up for conformity and not creativity. 

I found this reading really enlightening. The writer, Alok, starts out with a strong, honest, and intimate statement about the present day experience that gender non-conforming people are having in the fight for their existence. They use a language that really makes the reader aware that these are people, with real lives, lives that can not be ignored or oppressed. The words engagement with us, our own experiences, we, really stood out to me. Taking what is often talked about as a academic subject to be debated or have an opinion on and personifying it. The way Alok writes is very impactful and this book has such a great message with a strong stance.

They call out that we are in a state of emergency, and go directly into breaking down the denial of the danger non-conforming people are in and telling the truth about the violence that is happening. From there through the rest of the reading Alok responds to all the side comments, objections, and misinformation about gender with a very clear and sound voice and a fail proof argument full of facts.

This was a great read and I will recommend it to people I know as I think it covers a lot of uncovered territory in a digestible clear way.

We have many copies of the book beyond the gender binary at my job and we freely allow our youth to take a copy. I service youth that are LGBTQ and  GNC (Gender non conforming) .They are wonderful and very much like every other youth I have worked with except they to not adhere to society’s view of gender  When they arrive at our organization I always note the look of surprise on their faces when we ask them their pronouns and preferred name and then use them. Like they are not used to being addressed in a way that they want and it is saddening. The reading assigned affirmed a lot of GNC experiences and explains how damaging it is to have to fight to exist everyday for someone’s  mental health. To have to defend your right to exist. Every year we hear of a client who was killed. Every year and yet the media and in society they speak about them as its topic to be debated and not like we are speaking of people with a right to live and experience the best quality of life they can dream of.  I am grateful for safe spaces that allow people to experience each other as they identify as. “Power can be defined as the ability to make a particular perspective seem universal.” Alok has given us their experience walking through the world  as themselves , not fitting into our two gendered binaries and being the representation for other GNC folk.

This week’s reading was very interesting but at the same time it made me realize how hard was for the people with different identity categories. I also learned that, to be able to support different people with different categories of identities is to be able to learn more about them and integrate into the movement, defend them and not ignore the fact that they are there. There are times that I felt like many people supported the LGBTQIA2S+ movement to join the trend but they didn’t really feel committed to this movement. Maybe there are people who do this, but it also made me realize that maybe the majority of everyone who was in this movement was people who felt repressed and wanted to be able to find a way to stand up and fight for their principles. Alok also explains to us, about how the different categories of identities have to do with their biology. But this has more to do with the fact that some people do not feel good about the sex they were assigned at birth and society comes to criticize the fact that they do not feel good. When it should be a right, to be able to explore how you really feel and what you would like to be, without having to listen to how others tell you what is wrong or be criticized in the process. In the same way, knowing how many people do not find a way to show who they really are because of how they were raised throughout their lives made me helpless. I feel that the fact that many people are there criticizing or not accepting what someone feels like their true self, is for the same reason that since we were little we have always been told about what is correct and what is not, saying about how there are only two genders and not a variety beyond what they teach. Why does society focus on teaching what is right and what is wrong, instead of focusing on what people or the child feels? If we focused more on the feelings of others, there would not be so many people repressed with theirself.

I really enjoyed this week’s reading. I am familiar with Alok through social media and television, and I’ve always appreciated the joyfulness of their gender expression, though I have never taken it upon myself to seek out their work until now. As I read, their writing would spawn trains of thought or ideas which they would then address as if they anticipated them. These are such logical arguments, and so concisely laid out that is frustrating to consider that anyone would argue against it. I appreciate that beyond specific arguments around gender, they refute styles of arguments that are used across a number of issues and are universal in their illogic. “I get that you’re different, but why do you need to shove it in my face”, “You are making everything about ‘blank’. Stop bringing it up if you want it to go away”, “It’s common sense that ‘blank’, “You are not normal…”. These are all arguments that have been used against me in my homosexuality, and are similarly used in arguments against feminism. Again, I do feel that these issues are both strongly linked to an unhealthy conformity to the gender binary, if not caused by it. I would also say I appreciated the optimistic tone they illustrated for a future in which we are not fighting for dominance of one group or another, but finding our common ground. A world where we are not weaponizing our differences against one another, but celebrating our diversity. And a world in which everyone is afforded the same comfort and acceptance in expressing themselves.