According to Aloc, moving beyond the gender binary means acknowledging that there is an infinite number of ways to be men, women, non-binary or transgender. Aloc conveys that there’s too much emphasis placed on the differences between men and women instead of the variety within them. In the book they write “There are many women with body hair and many men without it. Not all women are able to bear children and not all men are physically strong” (52). In the current society, people are divided exclusively into binary of male and female, and there is a certain pre-determined attitude towards them based on the assigned gender. Moving beyond this binary is about the multiplicity of gender, the huge diversity of manhood and womanhood, and being real. I like to think of it as “there are as many genders as there’re people in the world” (I borrowed this phrase from a friend). While it may not be correct for others, in my mind it is the way it should be thought of. Hence one quote that stood out for me is “We don’t consider remembering everyone’s individual name a burden; we just accept that as the way things work. Gender should be the same way” (45). I think this is a very good explanation of my understanding of the multiplicity of gender. There are countless different names in the world, some of which have many variations. There are names with the same root that still sound different and give off a different vibe. Even two strangers with identical names most likely perceive their names differently. The sound, the color, the feeling of the name, as well as the impression it makes on the community would be completely different for these two people. A name is usually given to you at birth, but you will not necessarily like it and can change it. And this is the same way I think of gender.

Many things in my identity conform to the norm and many that are not. I recently started wearing short hair and gave away all the heels I had after realizing I haven’t worn them for more than two years. It gave me a huge sense of comfort as I accepted my true sense of style that came from within. While I often wear baggy clothes, sneakers, and baseball caps, I can still look feminine in them. I always have my nails done (and I am a nail technician/artist myself) and minimal makeup on. I have a very feminine body which sometimes I choose to emphasize and sometimes to hide. I can’t say that I fully identify as female, but I also feel comfortable with this part of me on my own level. Because of this, I don’t feel the need to fight against the perception of me as a female in society. However, I have always had a more “masculine” personality and mindset. I like to lead, be bossy, and be straightforward. I have little compassion and emotions — these are highly selective and rare, contrary to the traditional definition of female characteristics. Interestingly enough, most of my “going against the binary norm” happens internally and is not expressed on the outside. There is a certain way I feel about my gender identity that can be hardly explained verbally and I believe it happens to lots of people. That’s why it is important to let things be less attached to norms and definitions so people can be who they are without being labeled.