Alok beyond the gender binary Alok expresses to us how gender assignments create a specific type of restraint and narrative for how that person should behave and beyond that idea, what they should like or wear, and even down to how they express themselves, if they are allowed to cry or allowed to play football and if it does not fall within that bracket then this punishment of nonconformity creates an unbreakable connection between gender and shame. Growing up I had a lot of adults tell me who to be and how to do it. In the reading Alok speaks against these familiar arguments and gives a deeper understanding in gender expression. For myself I identify and she/her I am a cis- woman who is queer and I dress masculine presenting meaning i shop in the men’s section of stores and pick up heavy things and do things for myself and behave in a way most people would find masculine. People consistently assume that I want to “be a man” or want to transition but the truth is I express my gender differently than what is asked for as a woman. I can wear baggy clothes ,hats and sneakers and would never wear a dress but I am comfortable defining myself as she/her/they . In retrospect there are other aspects of myself that I guess can be considered me prescribing to gender norms and falling into binaries. I like to cook all types of food and am extremely maternal. One of my love languages is service so I do things for the people I love. I cannot build anything worth a damn and know nothing about cars. My partner who is more feminine presenting can change her oil and car battery very easily . I believe what it means to move beyond the gender binary is thinking less about how you’re “supposed” to behave and dress and exist and finding out what that means for yourself and not being worried about what that means for other people. Normalizing human emotions and how we express them as long as it isn’t harming anyone or ourselves. What that meant for me as a child is playing sports and wearing the blue power ranger gloves and big puffer jackets and hating when my mom made me wear dresses with the itchy nets and shiny shoes. I appreciate this type of reading because it challenges systems that we have built our society around and gives different perspectives.
2 thoughts on “Giselle Valentine discussion # 3”
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Hi Giselle, Thank you for your post. Something about it made me think of the way people can flip the gender norms they impose upon people when sexual orientation comes into it, and the conflicts that arise in that. For instance, I can be told that I as a cis gay man shouldn’t be “feminine”, but then it is also immediately assumed and accepted that I wouldn’t possess many “masculine” traits. For instance, I shouldn’t wear a dress, and there’s no way I’m good at sports. We are somehow simultaneously being denied both our masculine and feminine traits. But I can rewire all the electric in my house AND bake a really good cake! I do believe both hetero and homosexual people are capable of making those suppositions, and I’m unsure if it’s indicative of our ability to look beyond the binary or our attempts to adhere to it.
Hi Giselle! I completely agree that you express yourself the way you feel, in society it is so frowned upon for a girl to dress masculine and for a boy to dress feminine, when it is just a way to feel comfortable. I completely agree with you, about normalizing human emotions and expressions, since with each of them we can define ourselves and feel free. Being able to know what we like and what makes us feel comfortable is much more important than any stereotype in society. Society would criticize you for anything, even if you are “standard” they will look for anything to criticize you, so the best thing is that they criticize you being what you want to be, being free because they will criticize you in the same way.