What it means to move beyond the gender binary according to Alok means to be free from gender labels and do whatever and wear whatever we want in the street, that is whether a woman wants to wear a suit or a man wants to wear a skirt or a dress. It is to acknowledge that there is nothing wrong with existing outside of the gender binary. There’s always a thing in a society where there are only two genders: Man & Woman, and they need to act a certain gender but since there aren’t other genders like non-binary & gender fluid that aren’t articulated enough society would look at them in an uncomfortable way. This is very upsetting in my opinion because society feels like people cannot be creative in their own way leading to people judging gender non-conformity, on page 28 Alok explains that during his high school there was a bully who bullied him so he can prove that other people that he was normal. He was known to be jealous of how Alok expressed himself without fear. Sometimes it’s sad to know that people have to bully gender non-conformity so that they can be ‘normal’ and they are insecure with their identifies. Alok wants to be in a world where gender doesn’t have to be structured or assigned what you have to act or wear, whereas to break labels and start living a world where everyone can be creative with their gender without being judged.
I feel like my gender identity went against the binary form was growing up with my brother who is a professional wrestling fan I used to be a wrestling fan. Whenever I’m on the phone with my female’s friend, my brother would stop by in my room telling me what happen in either WWE or AEW, and my friends on the phone would have no clue what he’s saying or doing but don’t care about it because they don’t watch wrestling. Since I was little I was all about sports whether it was basketball or soccer I would be the only girl to play soccer. There were times when people thought I was a lesbian because of how I always dressed in jeans and hoodies all the time, but there are times when I dress feminine whenever I do my nails, wear a dress or a skirt. Most of the time my mother would want me to act “like a lady” but sometimes I think that it doesn’t matter if I act feminine or masculine.
Hi Alexandra,
Thank you for sharing, I enjoyed reading your response regarding the excerpts! I can completely relate to you when it comes to go going against the binary norm. I have always loved shopping in the boys/mens section for clothes – I personally think they have a better selection then the womens section! Growing up I got judged a lot especially by mom for wearing baggy things and buying jordans instead of heels or any other type of girly shoe. People also assumed I was a lesbian just because of the way I dressed and the fact that I played softball and flag football throughout high school. I think its odd that society is so focused on making sure we know the distinct difference between boy and girl; it’s also odd they decide what is for a boy and what is for a girl. What is even odder is the fact that we went along with this for so many years. It’s definitely time for a change.
Alexandra,
The part in the reading you mention, on Page 28, also stuck out to me. It was very revealing of Alok’s character to see how he was able to forgive that old classmate and seemingly be happy for him that he found his way.
I also relate to you in that my sexuality was question a lot through my life because I wasn’t always super “girly”, nor did I focus my life around boys/ men. Which just always shined a light on how people can not grasp that a person can be many different things, they always want to put people in a box, label, and understand. Which Alok spoke a lot about. I enjoyed your post!
Clare
Hey Alexandra, I hate that when women aren’t stereotypically girly, the world starts to perceive them as “lesbian”. To be honest, it’s offensive. Not the lesbian part. There’s nothing wrong with being a lesbian. But it’s the fact that they assume all lesbians are boyish. It dismisses the millions of femme lesbians all over the world. Let’s not forget how rude it is to assume someone’s sexuality just because of how they dress. When I was younger, I mostly hung out with boys and other “tomboys.” I didn’t have that much interest in girl things. But my sister was super girly. My mom told me constantly that I had to start acting more like her or people were going to think I was gay. I don’t think liking certain things should determine your sexual identity or your gender. Yet people still fail to see that.
Hey Alexandra, I can totally relate to you, often times when I was in school people would assume I was a dyke because I preferred to wear loose clothing. People shouldn’t be so quick to label other’s based off assumptions, and ideas of how think they people should dress
Hey Alexandra, i agree with you in all aspects. Regarding what your wear, it should not determine what you would like to identify as. You continue to be happy in any of the cloths. Great work
I agree with you Alexandra, its sad that people don’t get to know a person before labeling them. I believe in getting to know someone and it does become more complex when your parents don’t understand it either. Allow people to be themselves especially if its not causing any harm to anyone.