It is important to recognize patriarchy as a system and not an individual identity because it runs so much deeper than some people may think. Men are misogynistic because we live in a patriarchal society. Women can be misogynistic, too, and can also have a lot of internalized misogyny. Certain values are instilled in us from birth, and ingrain themselves deep in our subconscious. The people around us – our family, our peers, were also shaped by this system, and so, the cycle continues with us. By acknowledging that the patriarchy is something that we all participate in, whether we realize it or not, we can work towards dismantling these patriarchal standards and ideas. Of course, it won’t happen overnight. Patriarchal ways of thinking need to be unlearned, and we need to educate ourselves.
The patriarchy can work at different levels, including personal, interpersonal, institutional, and cultural or structural. At a personal level, patriarchal views and ideals can be observed in our very own thoughts. I think an interesting example of the more personal effects of patriarchy among women is the feeling of being “watched” – the feeling of putting on a performance and looking good when you know you are alone, and nobody is watching (but what if, hypothetically, someone – a man – is?). There is sometimes a nagging pressure to be desirable all the time. These feelings are definitely perpetuated by the male gaze, which is an effect of the patriarchy.
Secondly, there is the interpersonal level. This includes words and actions that are rooted in misogyny. For example, a man telling his girlfriend to cook, clean, and behave like a caregiver or a maid. It could also look like a woman putting down another woman in order to make her look bad in front of a man, therefore competing for his attention. It includes cat-calling, a mother not allowing her son to play with “girl’s toys,” and belittling people for having “girly” interests. The list goes on and on.
Thirdly, there is the institutional level. Around the world, there are many methods government officials use to punish women. A very common one has to do with reproductive rights – abortion bans, which are still unfortunately prevalent to this day. In addition, although on a much smaller scale, dress coding is also another example of institutional patriarchy. Young girls’ clothing is policed in school, oftentimes enforced so as to not be “distracting.”
Finally, there is the cultural/structural level. This includes heteronormativity, the firm belief of traditional gender roles, homophobia, transphobia, toxic beauty standards, and so on. These types of ideas make their way into our brains at a fairly young age, and if we’re lucky, we can unlearn them and educate ourselves as we grow older.