In the book “Beyond the Gender Binary”, Alok defines nonbinary people as people who are neither exclusively men nor women, and gender non-conforming people are people who visibly defy society’s understanding of what a man or woman should look like. In the video” Inside the Book: Alok Vaid-Menon,” Alok explains that moving beyond the gender binary isn’t the same as requiring everyone to identify as non-binary, which is what a lot of people who are defensively against it seem not to understand. There is a sense of confusion surrounding the subject because people still perceive gender neutrality as “erasing their right to be a woman or a man.” Alok states that “Manhood and womanhood should not be defined in opposition, and that actually man is so much more tremendous than just not woman and woman is so much more expansive than just not man.” And I think that there shouldn’t only be two options when it comes to our gender; there are multiple. We as people should have the right to identify as we please, and being filtered into only two categories just doesn’t work. That doesn’t mean those two categories are erased, and people are allowed to identify as men or women, the same way people are allowed to identify as non-binary. There is a quote that Alok spoke that really stood out to me, “The mentality that if I live in a world where other people are suffering then I too am suffering. If not everyone is free, I’m not free”. This is exactly what equality for all comes down to. Wanting everyone to be free and equal doesn’t matter who they are; they deserve to be treated as an equal.

For those who identify as cisgender, like me, gender is still fluid and complex. When I was a kid, I loved playing with dolls that were considered “girl toys”, but I loved playing with all of my brother’s sports equipment and video games just as much. Oddly, sports are categorized as a manly thing to enjoy. As I got older, I became so confused because it felt like as a girl, I could only be a “girly girl” or a “tomboy.” I went out of my way to avoid pink and sparkles for a very long period of my life because I felt like I was being forced to like those things by society. As an adult, I realized I’m allowed to enjoy whatever I want, and the same goes for everyone else regardless of how they identify. I’ve come a long way when it comes to accepting myself, and I usually feel most comfortable in clothing and accessories designed for women. Still, there are days when I only feel like wearing clothing from the men’s department. I wish more people would be more accepting because tolerance is not enough, and non-binary persons deserve to feel safe. It is their right to be themselves and identify as they please. There shouldn’t be a debate whether that is okay or not.