In “Beyond the Gender Binary,” Alok defines the gender binary to be centered around gender norms. Meaning society made us belive there are only two genders “man” and “women” and created strict and specific gender norms for each. With masculinity strictly being for men and femininity strictly being for women. We are taught that these are the only correct beliefs and forms of gender expression. This narrow definition of the gender binary makes it difficult for everyone to comfortably express themselves no matter how they identify. However, this struggle is much more prominent for gender nonconforming people. Them just being themselves and outwardly expressing it provokes people who refuse to accept someone being nonconforming. Gender norms are instilled into people and can make them belive that it is wrong for people to not fit the “guidelines” of their assigned gender.
For Alok, moving beyond the gender binary means to break away from gender norms and be more accepting to how people choose to identify and express their gender. Currently, there is extreme judgment toward gender nonconforming people, going as far as political prosecution and threats of violence. Gender is complex and fluid and that concept being taught instead of gender norms can increase acceptance of nonconformity and help to move beyond gender binary. My point being, people shouldn’t just be allowed to freely express their gender, it should be accepted and embraced. Instead of being nonconforming being looked down upon, being unaccepting or hateful should be looked down upon.
One experience that stands out to me that made me question gender identity/expression was Halloween a few years ago. I was costume shopping with my grandmother and I jokingly picked out a dinosaur costume and my grandma stopped me saying that costume is not for girls and that I should pick something that is pretty. I knew my grandma didn’t mean any harm when saying that to me, but those are the beliefs she was thought. She believed, as Alok mentioned, that girls need to be feminine or pretty but boys are meant to be masculine and are allowed to wear dinosaur costumes. I do love to dress up and be “pretty” but it should not be off-limits for me to act or wear clothes that were labeled as “masculine” because of my gender. I hope one day everyone (including my grandma lol) become more accepting and understand that gender is complex and fluid. As well as not labeling things like clothes or costumes as masculine or feminine and designating them to one gender.
Hi Aleah!
Your example of normative gender roles is so spot on! Your Grandma obviously meant no harm and was just being silly, but it’s crazy how deeply rooted these stereotypes are, especially for older generations. I think that is why clothing and fashion play a huge role in what is expected from gender when really anyone should be able to wear whatever they want.
Aleah,
I really enjoyed the way you broke down Alox’s message especially when you said “people shouldn’t just be allowed to freely express their gender, it should be accepted and embraced”. I think that’s exactly what they are trying to convey with this book. I relate to your story of your grandma just because it’s what I grew up surrounded by as well. It’s easy to just blind yourself from this knowledge when you can just hide behind the comfort of what you’ve aways known without questioning but it is just as simple to read excerpts like these and immediately understand the injustice so now it’s our job to decide how we receive this topic moving forward.
hi, I liked your Discussion Aleah. Normative gender role really isn’t so good. Thats what learned this week. What we consider the is normal Just shouldn’t have been taught. I never thought about how freely people will be able to express themselves if We let go of the Binary Gender norms till this week’s discussion. As some of us stated Fashion would change so much.
Hi Aleah,
I agree with your post about Alok’s statement from their book. I feel deeply engaged through your experience and your grandma. Because my grandma is also impacted by deep rooted stereotypes thought, so that she won’t understand what Alok wrote about. I wish we can impact them one day!
Aleah i like your comment about the costumes. Such a good example of how early on these gender norms are reinforced. Having to stick solely to the “boys side” or “girls side” of the Halloween costumes, which makes no sense because Halloween is about dressing up however you want. I think it is beautiful to see this shift in our generation where new parents are raising their children without forcing gender norms like color, hobbies and clothes on them. Let boys be princesses for Halloween too!!
Even a few celebrities have kids that have come out as non-binary, like one of Angelina Jolie’s children and Eminem’s child.