Moving beyond the gender binary for Alok means we as a society should’ve put the terms ‘man’ and ‘woman’ in these tiny boxes. We also shouldn’t limit the genders to being exclusively man and woman, because there is so much more beyond that. Also, not everyone can fit into these boxes society pushes on us and tries to stereotype people into. When we move beyond the gender binary we acknowledge these multiple options that are available.
My gender identity almost perfectly fits into the binary norm society has set up for me, and even as a child I was very in touch with the fact that I loved all the little things that made up ‘being a girl.’ I played with dolls, loved to dress up, do makeup, own a scary amount of pink items, have a sweetooth, I enjoy cute things like plushies or fun character socks, hair accessories and doing my nails. The list goes on and on and on, but, my mom has always told me that sometimes she feels like she raised a boy. (As a joke but I’ll explain why.)
I’m a very messy person and that’s something men get stereotyped as, I also don’t know how to cook, (and don’t really plan to but I know it’s something I have to get to eventually) I don’t really like kids. (I’m just awkward with them so I tend to avoid them, I’ve really only had that ‘mother instinct’ come out like once and that was just last week.) I really love the horror/gore genre, I love listening to rap and I have a loud laugh.
The gender norms society put into place follow along the lines of women being quiet, getting scared easily, being good at cooking, and natural mothers. “Nothing is spared; we mark everything- the colors, the emotions, the relationships, even the food…we don’t even realize that we are doing it.” (Alok 7). Before reading this, I never really sat down and considered all the areas gender is unecessarily platformed in society. The only real necessary measure I could think of is for the bathrooms, fitting rooms, and maybe the gyms.
“What’s never questioned here is whose standards of authenticity are we being held up to in the first place?” (Alok 8). This is the exact question I mentioned having in one of my previous posts, who created these gender ‘roles’ that have lasted thouands of years? Why are we still conforming to such an old and made up prophecy?
Hi Kayla!
You gave a great explanation of what moving beyond the gender binary means. I agree that gender is very limited and based on stereotypes. Like you said, not everyone fits into the gender stereotypes that are assigned to them. The question you posed in the end of your post is a perfect representation of the message in “Beyond the Gender Binary” and our discussion topic. Why are we still conforming to such old and made up prophesy?!? There has been so much societal change over the years but certain things like gender are still viewed with a past perspective/state of mind. It’s been difficult for people to accept gender nonconformity and reading things like Alok’s book hand having this discussion makes you think deeper into why someone’s gender expression is such an issue for someone else completely unrelated.
hmmm I’ve never thought of having a sweet tooth as a “girl thing”
I don’t think gendered bathrooms or fitting rooms are necessity. I’ve been to many stores like Forever 21 that don’t have separate gendered fitting rooms and there’s no issue.
If this is an assault concern, assault can happen anywhere. Men could easily follow a women into the women’s public bathroom and attack her just as “easily” as if it were a all-gender bathroom.
All-gender bathrooms aren’t just for trans and nonbinary people, but can be very beneficial for those with young children too. Not every place has a family single stall bathroom. Some dads feel weird bringing their young daughter into the men’s restroom, especially with the stalls usually being filthy, and that girls will sit on the toilet. Some women may feel weird bringing their young son into the women’s restroom, or maybe even the son may be like ” ew that’s for girls only”, but he could be too young to go to the bathroom alone, and the mother wouldn’t go in the men’s room with him, and probably just force him to join her in the women’s room. An all-gender bathroom would solve these issues. Also in kindergarten when you have the bathroom in the classroom, it isn’t gendered. And think about it, the bathrooms in our homes are genderless; always have and always will be.
Another example is that trans or nonbinary kids in school they are often forced by the faculty to go to nurses office to change for gym or use the bathroom. This often ostracizes the kid more. The office could be on the opposite side of the the building but it is their only option. It’s a choice between hold your pee in all day till you get home or to go out of your way to go to the “special” designated stall for you and face bullying. Often they are sent to the handicap/accessible single bathroom, which then becomes a disability issue, as it takes away access from the disabled people who physically cannot go in the regular bathroom stalls.
Hi Kayla !
You got me so interesting to know why your mom was thinking that she raised a boy. That was very funny! My mom used to take the baseball hat from me if she sees me wearing it because she used to think that only boys can wear hats. crazy right? Society had so much power to just make our old generation believe that we only have two genders in this world. That’s why non-binary people are getting disrespected in all ways.
hello Kayla. Thank you for give us a great explanation of what moving beyond the gender binary means, because if you don’t know how to cook or you don’t like kids that doesn’t make you a messy person just don’t like these things because every people have different tastes and not one was born knowing you can learn and it is nor a problem or something bad to be different not all women have to have children and not all have to know how to cook to be a successful woman.