Moving beyond the gender binary for Alok means not fitting into what society has structured or define as right and wrong. Everyone has the power and freedom to decide how and what represent them when they don’t find them self or feel like they belong in a system that has been created by society. This is not only about either one or the other if you feel like you are much more than that. Not everyone expresses them self the same one, and the simple fact that you express yourself differently thought the way you dress doesn’t mean you doesn’t fit into a category beside the one society has created. People should not be afraid to go outside because they are different or scare to be judge. One thing from this article that really stood out to me was the fact that his Buller was just hiding himself under a category he did fit into and all because he was worry about how society would look at him and that is a sad story we still see today people who damage other because they do not have the courage.

I will say I am an athlete female who like “Mans” sports major of my childhood all I did was playing sport which is nothing wrong but the parenthesis here was that I used play basketball in a team composed by boys, me been the only girl in the whole tournament still nothing wrong with that just with the exception that I used to wear baggy clothes which made me look like a boy. I started to use baggy clothes not for the look but because I felt comfortable and so they use to called me tomboy. I have never been a girly female; I don’t wear make-up all do this fancy stuff, wear dress or neither liked play with dolls or do many “girly stuff “. Almost all my friends were boy or I used to hang out with boys more than with girls, So I guess in this way my identity goes against the binary norms as I am also a working mother that does not sit home and wait for the man to provide or fix whatever breaks in the house. Now how does I think my identity fit the binary norm, I act and represent myself as female I do dress more girly, also I am heterosexual which “fit the binary norms”. I respect others point of view and simply neither agree or disagree I think everyone is free to express them self the way the feel is okay to them as much do it through art, music, many also do it through look and appearances still this doesn’t have to fit you into a category you don’t not relate or belong to.  

Moving beyond the gender binary, according to Alok, entails removing societally imposed gendered boundaries. Aside from the two distinct gender forms, feminine and masculine, that have been favored and fixed in our social system and cultural beliefs. Alok believes that everyone, regardless of gender, should be able to be creative and express themselves in whatever way they want without fear of being judged. People are being trapped into their own skin because they can not be themselves. In the story Alok states “The truth is, I still can’t go outside without being afraid for my safety”. Truth is , It’s very sad how closed minded people are for someone to be afraid of going outside because of what they wear or express themselves as shouldn’t be acceptable. Growing up I was always taught that men and woman are the only genders but I was always curious as to why because I always wanted to dress like a boy and played sports and my family would always say ” You’re not a boy to be dressing or playing sports, you should be playing with barbie dolls”. Perfect example as to having a closed mind, why should people be judged because of the way they express themselves. Moving beyond the gender binary was a great story Alok did a great job with explaining and breaking down what he really goes through on the daily. I could feel his pain as I’m reading, regardless of what people should be respected and treated equally binary or non binary it shouldn’t be a difference. I always remember my great aunt used to always tell me you will never get a boyfriend because you like to play sports wear sports bras and always be around the boys instead of girls she would ask “Are you a lesbian? Do you like girls” all because I did not want to do what girls were doing like painting your nails I would rather play basketball or wear skirts or dresses I would prefer jeans sneakers and shirts. It was not me to act all girly but that didn’t mean I was a lesbian I was just a girl who liked to dress like a tomboy it was comfortable for me. Dealing with the trauma of not being able to express yourself is inhumane. Everyone should be free and able to express who they really are without any judgment or fear that they won’t be accepted.

• What does it mean to move beyond the gender binary for Alok?

 Moving beyond the gender binary means understanding that being non—binary or gender non-conforming is not a “prop” or an “accessory”. As Alok bests puts it “If you remove our clothing, our make up, and our pronouns, underneath the surface we are just men and women playing dress up”. Many people who aren’t the “norm” of society are constantly harassed and not able to experience simple things like going to the store. The narrative by the law is if you see someone who is beyond society’s gender understanding, pick on them.  An example stated was “Texas proposing financial compensation for reporting us using the restroom”. Things like this and worst are the world of those who go beyond the gender binary. It is something that not just as a society are we supposed to correct but educate very early on in the lives of children. This is something to be normalized and not demonized. As Alok says “I do not have the luxury of being”, and no one should have to feel this way. I completely agree with him. I’ve grown up with a very open-mind about things. And it’s shaped me to view the world very differently than others. I think the educational system has many flaws but, not updating kids and children to accept and perceive lgbtq+ related issues to be accepted and respected is a major one. If issues like this aren’t taught to be understood and accepted from the beginning it will leave people to hide as they get older. (teaching in the sense of societal acceptance.) I was very taken when Alok said they fear going anywhere and they don’t really have time to just be themselves and live their life.

• In what ways does your gender identity go against the binary norm and in what ways does it fit the binary ?

  The way my gender identity goes against the binary norm is essentially the fact that I’m not always feminine. There are days I choose to dress leaning more towards my masculine side and I love it. I like changing it up depending on how I feel a certain days. However, I also fit the binary because I love dressing girly. Lately I’ve been thinking about trying out hyper-femininity. I’ve really that style for a while but I don’t know if I could pull it off. I think its just so cute and so lovely that it kind of scares me in a way. I feel like I’d look more vulnerable or maybe its like one of those things where you go through a phase of hating pink because its super girly but then realize wow I actually love pink. 

In general there have always been standards placed on human genders. We have always been divided for example, we see it in our fashion, our toys that we grew up with and even our work place. Girls are typically given Barbie dolls and boys are typically given toy cars or toy guns. We can even see it in kid shows even to this day. People associate little girl shows when the cover is pink and shows a girl character wearig a dress. For boys the cover is usually green or blue with boy characters and theres usually cars or superheroes. Me personally I have always grew up playing with Bratz and Barbie dolls and pink and princesses, which in sociatey standards fits the gender binary standard. I also grew up gaming, I still game because I really do love it. I grew up with Nintendo and Xbox and Playstation. I play all types of games but I do love first person shooter and unfortunately in the gaming community it is seen as a masculine thing and only boys should be playing video games. I also grew up hating the color pink and wearing baggy clothing because I always felt more comfortable with it, and unfortunately that led me to becoming outcasted by a lot of groups in school. I believe what Alok is trying to spread is that these accessories, fashion, toys, tv shows or even movies shouldn’t label one specific gender. We are simply existing on this earth to enjoy everything and there shouldn’t be a barrier placed between humans just because of their physical appearance. We should be able to go out however we want to dress and not be shamed or questioned for it. Or in Alok’s case, go to the grocery store or run errands without being questioned whether it is a halloween costume. We are already seeing a world where even celebrities and people are starting to break gender norms, even if they don’t identify as non-binary by painting their nails or wearing skirts. We also see it in women as well. This is an example of how even if we don’t identify as non-binary or anything else other than a man or woman we should be able to dress however we like or watch whatever we like because it is our interest. Gender has affected our world so much that we can’t live with basic human rights. Women at one point were oppressed because of their gender and were seen as inferior to men. We live in a society where just how we identify ourselves alone can affect our everyday work life, school life and even social life. We can see history repeat itself now but with non-binary or people who choose to break gender norms.

The speaker, writer Alok Vaid-Menon, gives out his thoughts on the meaning of going out of the gender binary norms. He compares gender identity to the stars in the sky. For him, manhood (Being a male) and womanhood (Being a female) shouldn’t be constricted into the two opposing options that have been taught and have been the priority on our society traditions throughout human history, without leaving people without people’s rights to be a woman or a man. In his opinion categorizing millions of people into two categories doesn’t work. Coming back to the star comparison. He reminisces the saying “Men are from mars and women are for Venus” taking this saying further away, with the explanation that the rest of the planets are for every other gender, including Non-binary, which he identify as. He hopes that nowadays there’s a world where people can be whatever they choose to be without being misjudged unfairly and persecuted for silly existing. And although I don’t completely agree with everything he thinks, but a point of view is a point of view, and everyone is free to choose and believe what they see as correct.

In what to me refers, I identify as a cis-gender female person. I know that studies say that people tend to express and experience gender in different and complex ways, and I’m sure that’s how people go about, but I don’t really consider that I have ever went against the binary norms in any way. Even as a child, I’ve always been really feminine, engaging on usual “girly” activities, like cheerleading, doing my make-up, and more so, following the example of my mother who as an office worker, has always had a very feminine way to go ahead on how she dressed, how she talked, and how she generally interacted with people around her. Even later on in my life, being a woman has continued being a most wonderful experience for me, because that gave me the opportunity of carrying a life inside me and hearing the word “Mommy” come from a sweet voice. In what I do agree, is that women shouldn’t be just seen as “Sensible” and “Fragile” beings. We are hard workers, we are strong, smart, and are able to be independent. For many years, society has tried to put us apart in a box where we could just see and be quiet. But both. Our voices need to be heard.

Beyond the Gender Binary by Alok Vaid-Menon, was very interesting and detailed. I’ll be honest growing up I only thought there was only male and female. I honestly didn’t know that non-binary and non-conforming people were to different type of people. Non-conforming can be used to describe people by actions, dress, ideas and yet you could be non-binary.

What I learned from Alok Vaid-Menon is that there are more than one gender. With that being said Vaid-Menon also mentions banning them to healthcare, some outings, and I didn’t even know they banned them from donating blood. I feel that at a young and mature age children should know the difference and understand all gender roles. People will always have an opinion for everything and will pick you apart no matter what, that is just life.

How does my gender identification differs from the gender norm ? I like to dress comfortable in baggy/men’s clothing. Which means I’m not a very big fan of dressing girly, or wearing makeup often. Even for events I’d prefer to wear dress pants rather than a skirt and some say I don’t dress like a female should or I’m too masculine. I like the way I am, I’m not too feminine nor too tomboy or masculine.

Another way I go against the norm is I’m very straight-forward about what I want or don’t want and what I like and don’t many have told me I come off as an asshole or too demanding but I’m not. Yet, if this was vice versa and a man has the same characteristics he’s confident, bold, and some may even say attractive.

The book Beyond the Gender Binary by Alok Vaid-Menon, gives the reader very detailed information. Growing up we were taught that male and female are the only genders out there. This concept is called the binary gender norm. I won’t lie and say that I knew all these different concepts then this class wouldn’t have made sense to take. While reading this book, I was able to gain a better understanding of being non- binary or a non- conforming person. According to the book, a non-binary person is someone who’s neither exclusively a man nor a woman. While a non-conforming is a person who visibly defies society’s understanding of what a man or a woman should look like. Effeminate is another word that I learned while reading this book. The meaning of effeminate is (with reference to a man) having characteristics and ways of behaving traditionally associated with women and regarded as inappropriate for a man. What I believe it means to move beyond the gender binary for Alok Vaid-Menon is to acknowledge that male and female aren’t the only genders a person could be referred to as. Don’t we have freedom of speech and expression? According to Beyond the Gender Binary, why are there trying to ban them from public accommodations, denying them access to legal protections at work, or barring their access to healthcare. It doesn’t stop there. In South Dakota they are attempting to ban transgender athletes in high school. They even go to the lengths to prohibit them from going to public places, highways, schools, and parks. We were taught that boys are strong, and girls are weak, boys are rational, and girls are emotional since we were young. Since our birth, we have been classified as either male or female. These are the two genders that society accepts. I feel that if we teach the young that there is more to being a male and female, things will change since they are the world’s future. Vaid-Menon is arguing that it shouldn’t matter how you represent yourself, whether it’s via your gender, how you dress, move, apply make-up, or whether you wear sweatpants or a hoodie. There is nothing greater than being yourself. Yes, there will be individuals who will criticize you, but this is because they lack the bravery to be themselves. The binary norm holds that there are only two genders. How does my gender identification differ from the norm? Women who dress in men’s clothing, on the other hand, are looked down upon by society. I’d rather wear men’s clothes, but I’d also wear dresses, I’m emotional and have “woman problems.” You only live once, so don’t worry about what others think of you. Instead, enjoy it for who you are.

Alok expresses that moving beyond gender binary means removing gendered boundaries that are societal traditions. Evolving beyond the two distinct genders forms, feminine and masculine that were prioritized and fixed in our social system or cultural beliefs. Alok believes that humans should be able to “play” with gender and to be creative and change as much as they want. Alok shares with us that gender norms tell us who to be rather than who we choose to be. Throughout this reading Alok stands firm on his belief that people should have a choice/right on who they want to be and because they are many that go against non-binary, gender non-conforming people and transgender it makes the world scarier for them. He also shared through the reading that gender norms have an impacted his physical and emotional safety tremendously as people sometime harass him. This has affected him previously were he had to make a choice between his safety or authenticity. Due to safety issue many genders non- conforming people must cover up who they are because of the back lash they can receive. One thing I appreciated that he said is that he does not want to get exist he needs to live and in doing so he needs to be authentic and live his truth. The society we live in today believes that one should be punished for non-conforming to get back in place with these policies. This short story speaks about injustice, pain, sacrifice, and back lash in the non- conforming society however, it also speaks about hope, resistance, authenticity, and transformation outside of gender binary. My gender identity fit into the binary norms. I identity as cis gender because my gender identity matches my biological sex that I was assigned at birth. However, I believe in being creative, transformative, and authentic and educating myself with non- conforming people. The world is slowly changing but once there is hope anything is possible.  

To move beyond the gender binary for Alok would basically refer to a man or woman not just having 2 options but rather having an immensity of options. It is about acknowledging the other choices we have around us. Putting people into a box is not really the right perspective. There has never been just one or the other and the controversy of pronouns proves that. Expressing ourselves in how we walk, dress or talk should not always suggest the person is automatically liking the same gender. We are stuck with the idea that depending on the gender you are, it would mean you need to be girly or considered weak if it is a female whereas, guys have to act masculine and strong willed. In my case, I am a tomboy female who also wants to dress as a girl in some ways. I am more comfortable being sporty but sometimes I am also really sensitive. I was always told I need to act like a lady and dress like a lady. People have told me I’m too loud or even I eat way too much for a girl. I’ve constantly been put down and have been attempted to be put in a bubble by other people. I’ve never felt comfortable with really dressing with more feminine clothes until recently. I have always been told that in the future I would like girls because of how masculine I was before. I never understood it at all because sometimes I just never really cared for my appearance which resulted in me dressing more masculine. I kind of tried to change how people perceived me but eventually I also let nature take its course. Eventually, I started to be comfortable in dressing girly but I also have not lost my roots so I would disagree with the fact of fitting the binary norm. I know that everyone has experienced the million questions because of how they dressed or acted even if it was one day but as you all know we have continued to expand on our differences. It might take a while but we are making progress so hang in there as we go through these times where we are put inside the box because one day we will escape and roam free with no judgment. Always remember we must not assume someone’s gender or sexuality in the way we perceive them. You can’t always tell if someone is gender binary or anything along those lines so respect them as you would anyone else.