I think I’m very privileged. I grew up in a favela in Brazil, and though we had happiness and family, there weren’t as many opportunities to further ourselves in life as there are here in the U.S. Though I dislike this country and its politics. It’s clear that you can move up in life through its capitalist system through its educational opportunities. This isn’t the same case in Brazil. I’m fully aware of the hardships in the U.S, I too, fight against them. However, it is needless to say that the poverty experienced in Brazil is not as drastic as the one here. And yes, I’m aware that these are two different worlds I’m comparing (brazil is considered a third world country vs. u.s being considered a first world country), but it is precisely my point.

Growing up in the u.s made my relationship with my parents very inexistent. As fresh immigrants, they were trying to make ends meet and excel and grow. This meant more time by myself because I could not see them all the time. I remember when I asked my dad for a photo of my mom when a couple of months went by because I rarely saw her, and I had forgotten what she looked like. This has bought a vast space between my parents and me, where I don’t necessarily feel like I have to talk to them every day, and I can go probably more than a month or two without speaking to one of them. Another oppression I experience is mainly during the times that I tan out. I don’t like to tan or wear my hair curly because I realize how differently I’m treated. I noted this when I decided to tan during the summer, waiting for my dad outside my apartment. And this white man called the cops and said that I was trying to break in and didn’t live there. I was so sad and scared because he had been taking pictures of me, yelling at me, and telling me he would call the cops. He said people like me aren’t good.

This past summer, I decided to tan and wear my hair curly most of the time. I was embarrassed to be in my skin. Since then, I chose not to tan or wear my naturally curly hair. I would notice how nothing would happen during the months where I paled out. I spent some time in Brazil and noted it is celebrated to get as tan as possible in my region. I hadn’t had applied heat to my hair for a while, and I was just me. I just hated it. I didn’t like just being me. I consistently complained about my appearance and talked about how much I regretted allowing myself to tan as much as I did. This is something I’m trying to work on. I at least can stay away from the sun and do things that change my appearance, which is saddening really. Writing this makes me feel awful to admit how I tend to comply even aware of the effects of the white narrative. Which is the opposite of what I tell others to do. But anyways. Yeah, it’s something I’m working on not caring about and just being me without fearing someone not accepting me.

  I believe that systems in place affect those who want to live a life where they are not harassed or traumatized by experiences. Privilege is being able to live a life fulfilled. You do not fear your emotional or physical well-being because all those boxes are checked out. Oppression is constant harassment and the inability to move up in life or just live because of who you are and how it does not fit into society’s checkbox. It is disgusting as humans that we allow other humans to have only the right to exist but not experience or live.