Beyond The Gender Binary is a wonderful written book by Alok that explains everything about gender the beautiful and the ugly. They explain how gender and sex are not only completely different but as well as should be expressed rightfully by the person. Alok does a brilliant job explaining why it is harmful to continue perpetuating these gender norms and how toxic it can be. They also explain how instead of repressing non gender conforming people we should let them express their creativity.
Alok even does a great job with making us realize we ourselves do things that can be harmful when it comes gender. Something as simple as asking a pregnant women for the gender of their child to even forcing our children from a young age to be a certain way and lecture them about how they should and shouldn’t act. We waste all our time and energy on making sure our kids don’t turn out gay or anything in between instead of supporting them and their creativity. They even do a great job explaining their reasoning against things they have heard before by many people and how they also deserve just as much respect as those who are gender confirming or cisgender.
I go against the gender norm because of the way I act or express myself as well as many of my beliefs. I am a very straight forward and affirmative character; characteristics that many people think makes me a ‘bitch’ , but when a man is like this he is seen as confident. Ive experienced many things that have made me realize I go against the gender norms ,I speak my mind when its needed and I don’t turn a blind eye to wrong things and stand up for others and myself. When this has happened many times i’ve been told by guys “hey a females place is to just be quiet” or “hey as a women you shouldn’t be commenting on everything” it has even went as far as ex close friends going to my boyfriend saying that he should be ‘putting me in check’. My family has even stated how my non traditional beliefs would be the reason I will always be single. I despise traditional house constructs of the male being the man of the house and how he calls all shots while the women is in the kitchen and is suppose to be submissive. Ive explained multiple times how I will not be forcing my children into traditional gender norms and they will be able to express themselves from early childhood and was told by my misogynistic/homophobic ex step-father how my mom should beware of “gay children”. Also being bisexual and dressing however I want either being more masculine or feminine definitely goes against norms.
I do not believe that being emotional and nurturing is specific to women however since I have to include in what ways it is with gender norms this is it. Many people believe I am very caring and accepting of everyone. I try to help anyone and everyone with their growth regardless of who they are and I am always there for anyone offering them a shoulder. I am very emotional but that can just be because I have mental illnesses.
Hi Melanie,
I also thought Alok did an exceptional job in explaining and expressing the harm in continuing to perpetuate these gender norms taught to society. Since this class has begun, I too notice that it’s important to be mindful with many of the things we may say or ask. Although some of us may not intentionally try to make someone uncomfortable with asking, using the example you used, what the gender of their child is because it’s the norm, it’s important to still be mindful. Also, I appreciated you pointing out how women simply stating their opinion is against gender norms. Many people in the class mentioned this as well and I didn’t even think that something as simple as stating one’s opinion could go against gender norms.
Hi Melanie, I agree with how Well written Alok’s book was. The way he explains the difference between Gender and Sex. How society makes transsexuals feel less than human. I think it is unfair to let society choose between two genders. There should be all types of genders.
Hello, Melanie.
I just wanted to remark that I agree with your opinion of Alok Vaid-book Menon’s Beyond the Gender Binary. If I’m being honest, I had no idea that some of the questions we ask people may be damaging. I really like how you supplied samples. Excellent job!!!!