To move beyond the gender binary for Alok Vaid Manon means moving beyond the idea that there are only two options, male and female, rather than acknowledging that there is an infinity of possibilities when it comes to gender. Expressing our gender in different ways should not have to be accompanied by a million questions regarding why we look the way we do or have to hear others’ opinions on what they believe is right or wrong. Since society has pushed only two genders upon us, people, even those in political power, have made it extremely difficult for nonbinary people to exist in a world that feels accepting and more importantly, safe.
Since I am a cisgender female, who I guess you can say, expresses myself in a feminine manner, in this sense, I can say that my gender identity fits the binary norm. In the past, this has not always been the case. Growing up, I was constantly compared to my older sister who was girly, sensitive, and not the athletic type. It was obvious to many that she enjoyed getting ready for school, etc. Unlike my sister, I loved sports (I still do) and could have cared less about my outer appearance. Although I knew we looked different, I was still confused about the comments and questions I would get asked due to how I dressed. One day, in the girl’s bathroom in 7th grade, a girl named Jennifer approached me and asked whether I liked girls. I looked at her in confusion and asked, “No, why?”, to which she simply replied, “just asking”. For those who are wondering, I mainly just dressed in jeans and t-shirts or t-shirts and sweats, did not wear any makeup, and definitely didn’t have my nails done. They would constantly break whenever I played softball, so there was no point in getting them done. Since my appearance was not feminine enough for some people, those people automatically assumed that I was a lesbian, unlike my sister with the long hair down her back dressing in dresses and skirts.
Since time, gender has proven to be fluid and complex the way I express myself now is different than how I did then. I didn’t change the way I dressed on purpose, rather I just let nature take its course. Although I was approached about my appearance and asked about my sexuality based on how I dressed, the experiences that I have had when confronted are in no way similar to what many others have experienced. As Alok has mentioned, regardless of our appearances, “we should all be treated with dignity and respect -one in which these factors do not have a bearing on safety, employment, or opportunity”. To live in a world that celebrates our differences rather than shame them should not be difficult or even be questioned.